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Weight History
showing entries 1 to 5 of 23
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21 April 2014
Just lost a giant journal entry by the press of a wrong button!! In which I detailed my painful, painful Easter saga!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!! In a nutshell, I did fine at dinner, didn't stuff myself. Came home and had the house to myself for an hour, so I tried the new kettlebell video, HARRRRR, with my new 25lb kettlebell?!? Yeah, not smart. Switched to my daughter's 15 lb (my two oldest daughters each got a 15lb kettlebell in the bottom of their Easter baskets, lol!) So the video starts you off very slowly, lots of instruction on form, which is key, because kettlebells can be friggin' dangerous! I bought Sarah Lurie's 4 dvd set, love it so far.. I did about 29 minutes of that
Then everyone walked in, carrying containers of leftover cakes, puddings, jello salads, sausages, ham, lasagna... and we all sat around the table and stuffed more in!!! At one point, that wasn't even enough for me, at one point I actually found myself standing INSIDE the refrigerator, stuffing ham down my gullet until I couldn't swallow any more.. WTFUDGE???!!! sigh... gooood lord... it was like deja-vu, all over again.
I convinced my sister, Hubs, Dad, and middle daughter to go for a walk down the hollow, with the dogs and the horse, get a little air, step away from the table and the food!!! lol! It was a good walk, we saw a wild turkey, Dad said his dad would've given anything to run across a wild turkey like that, he spent YEARS hunting them, whittling his own turkey calls... never got one! We see them constantly, can't keep em out of the yard!
I think I ate more when we got back, it was all a blur... but my stomach hurt so much, I couldn't even enjoy a family movie, had to haul my sorry butt to bed, and pray for it all to pass.. Thank goodness one of the dogs followed me back and cuddled my stomach, it was like having a hot water bottle! One that never cools off, even! Amazing companions...
Easter itself was the best ever. My kids were all home, all together, everyone talking and laughing, great joy in our house, just to be together. And we had to lose that for a few years, in order to appreciate it. That's all there is, really, that's all that matters.
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20 April 2014
mom and dad are here for Easter, dyed eggs yesterday outside, was lovely, sunny, warm day... used some cheap little ANCIENT pack of egg-dye tabs I had squirreled away for 15 years, I think! All it had was a tiny pack of 6 dye tabs and a couple stickers, very low-tech... But the colors were AMAZING! almost florescent! Of course they took the leftover blue dye and dipped the dog's paw and the cat's tail in... rotten! Dani had to work, so she dyed eggs later in the evening with my dad, he was cute, came in asking when were we dying eggs, he didn't want to miss it! She and her Pap put together the ham too, all fancy with the pineapple and the cherries and the brown sugar and the beer... that single can of beer on the counter looked... hauntingly appealing, like an old forgotten friend lol!
Mom and I, feels like it took us 1400 hours to do Easter Bunny stuff, I wrapped forever... and jammed chocolates in my face... all in all not too bad though.
Happy Easter, and all the blessings of Spring, renewal, strength, growth, life!
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17 April 2014
I feel a little bit like a baby today, didya ever see a baby when he takes his first steps and he KNOWS he's in charge, and he just flippin' BEAMS from ear to ear? Yeah, that's what I look like today, a big ol' 5 ft 2 inch 50 yr old baby, who just found out she could JOG!! I can jog, ya'll!!! ME!!! I'm part of the club now!
I was so jealous of my husband, just jogging his heart out on the treadmill, sweating, and burning those kcals and dropping weight so easily, because, also, HE'S A MALE, but whatever, he was making me sick, he dropped down to high-school weight in two months ARRRGGGHHH!!! I can't make the scales budge, oh sure, I'm building muscle, but I'm also stuffing a lot of sugar into my face... especially the evenings.... He goes to work and he's away from the kitchen. I can't keep myself out of the kitchen, plus the kids need to eat, and they love the goodies, I'm constantly immersed in goodies!!
But today, my daughter had a dr. appointment, and I had some time to kill. It was a beautiful sunny crisp windy spring day, I was in my favorite quaint little town, and I decided to take a brisk walk, get some of my cardio out of the way... I had my gym clothes and shoes on, and a "regulation" jogging jacket with pockets, so I really felt like... I might actually be able to pass, I might look a little bit like an athletic-type person... Me!
I set out on the sidewalk at a brisk walking pace... I glanced around sheepishly... what if I tried to jog a little? But what if I could only run a tenth of a mile and then fail? But what if I didn't fail? What if I look silly? What if my ankles gave out and I got that sharp stupid pain and I failed? But what if they didn't? What if I got a cramp? What if I didn't? What if someone drove past and honked and yelled "Give it up, lard butt!" What if I passed REAL runners, and what if they laughed at the poser? What if I run like a girl? Actually, I AM a girl, and a feminist, so that's not an insult, and should never be an insult. But what if I did something weird with my hands, or what if I stumbled? What if my ear started hurting? And then that very harsh judge in my head looped back around to the most pressing question, what if could only make it a tenth of a mile, and what if I find out that truth about myself, that I CAN'T jog...
But then something happened. All the accumulated FIRSTS from the past year came flooding back to me, I walked a 5k with my friend, I ran/walked a 5 mile mud-run, joined the gym and stuck with it for 3 months so far, used kettlebells, tried a zumba class, took yoga classes, did calisthenics, actually used a hotel fitness room on vacation, bought a bike rack and used it a couple times already, got serious shoes that fit really well and had gel soles and high ratings, joined fatsecret and got real for the first time about what I was actually eating, learned to make hummus, and kefir, and healthy homemade granola bars for the kids... I think it all just came to a head and I felt like, what's one more thing, at this point? I didn't think I could do most of those other things, and I did, why can't I at least try jogging?
So I started these funny little timid jogging steps.. and then I committed to it... and I made it 2 blocks... and I thought I was gonna die! My lungs were like, HEY, what the hell are you doing? I said, I'm jogging! They said, you don't jog. We're gonna quit. I said, no kidding, I want to quit too! But for whatever reason, I didn't. I jogged for 10 minutes, circled around 3 blocks, and through a lovely little green park WITH BIRDS flitting about, and oh how I longed to see a squirrel... no squirrel today, but I trudged on... I noticed 3 houses for sale, in this cute little town, I trudged on... I got back to the doctor's parking lot, finished strong, like I had run the friggin Boston Marathon! 10 minutes! I think I could've run longer too, but was happy with that for now. Grinning like a fool! I kept moving at that point, to keep the metabolism going, and decided to walk the whole loop again. It was one of the happiest walks of my life! I felt exactly like Bob Wiley:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrbY4hsNh64
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15 April 2014
Was doing great yesterday, went to gym with Hubs, did 2000 steps on step-mill, came home cooked fish, perch, which tasted like A$$ to me, but he said it was awesome. I ate kale too, with the fish. Then he left and the door closed and the house became quiet. Very triggering to me, when that door closes and I'm alone... Right to the kitchen I go...I was doing okayyyyyish, until I went for a ride to the store with my daughter, who wanted LICORICE, got in the car and lost my friggin' MIND with the pullnpeel cherry DEVIL! I was very animated with her while piling in the sugar, we were joking and laughing, and then about 20 minutes later, while driving to pick up my son from practice, I CRASHED, got seriously quiet, morose, grumpy... she kept asking me what was wrong... Went home and proceeded to cram sugar and salt munchies into my face, like a very unhappy little robot. It was like several switches went off on my mood, up, down, up, down, and all regulated by sugar. I'm sincerely sick of the way I just mindlessly seek sugar.. I love this quote by General Patton, because my body has definitely been in the DRIVER SEAT my whole life, time to switch it up:
“Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one
thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the
body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up.
It is always tired morning, noon, and night. But the body is
never tired if the mind is not tired. When you were younger
the mind could make you dance all night, and the body was
never tired... You've always got to make the mind take over
and keep going.”
― George S. Patton Jr.
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14 April 2014
Took the kids and dogs to the park, met husband there, on his way back from his fishing trip. He was a crud-ball, but it was great to have him back. Took the dogs into the dog-park, on the small-dog side. We were all nervous and tense, taking them in there, onaccounta Boo usually acts like a little TURD around other dogs, barking and hair standing on end and trying to rip away from the leash... But she walked in there and about 15,000 (or maybe it was 5, who's counting) dogs came over to greet her, I think she must've been in shock or on sensory overload, because she just joined in the pack! Poppy too, she let everyone sniff her and did her fair share of sniffing, and then she wanted to play fetch with Hubs.
After we were there for a while they both started jumping up on little kids and nice ladies and licking them to death. Amazing, the dog park! Very little barking there, it was really so peaceful, and there were at least 40 dogs! Over on the big-dog side, I saw a pit-bull playing with a boxer! Running and cavorting even! A giant Great Dane holding court... it was incredible. On the small dog side, little tiny teacup yorkies, little puffy-ball dogs, Chihuahuas, Beagles, miniature greyhounds (they were so cute and playful), and my little lummoxes.
My kids ran and climbed and sloshed in the creek and played Frisbee Hubs played Frisbee too hard, of course, hurt his shoulder, and did several diving rolling catches and hurt other parts. Giant kid. Oldest daughter was especially animated, dropping and doing cartwheels every once in a while, talking with little kids about their dogs, splashing in the creek with Poppy... Thanks GOD for her return, physically and emotionally! She looked so beautiful, smiling in the sun, what an amazing transformation... so very grateful...
Ate according to my plan, mostly. And got my turbulence videos done in the morning, outside in the yard, was fun to exercise out there, but muddy. Also did 2 hours of yardwork, cleaning and bagging junk behind the shed, that felt good. Had a fire at the end of the day with Franki, and the horse, let her out to graze a little near us. She was calm this time, didn't spook on the end of the rope, so hopefully she's settling into spring. Was a great day!
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