l_ou_ise's Journal

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04 February 2017

Honestly I cried in joy because i did not expect it. At all.

Also this week was eventful, I got cast for a TV game show, we are filming on the 24th and although I'm super super excited I'm also feeling the pressure of looking good on TV really sharply and I hope it doesn't make me do crazy things haha.

Weigh-in: 138.7 lb

lost so far: 4.6 lb

still to go: 39.5 lb

Diet followed N/A

(6 comments) losing 0.8 lb a week

31 January 2017

I apologize in advance for the lack of positivity in this post. I didn't weigh because I felt extremely bad and didn't need to add to it.

On Friday at practice I was trying to catch my flyer's foot and it landed on the last knuckle of my left ring finger, and apparently my finger was bent and it caught all of her weight and I heard a crack and it hurt really bad. I stopped practicing because I know my body and I knew the pain wasn't just due to the shock. My coaches were saying I had probably sprained something but I FELT it in my body that it was something else (also it was starting to swell...)

I slept on it bc practice always finishes late and I get home by midnight so I was like eh it won't be much worse in the morning anyway. The pain was bad so I could barely sleep and on saturday I went to the pharmacy to get something to bandage it into place so it wouldn't move (I couldn't straighten it and it was swollen and kinda blue) in the hope that it wasn't broken. The pharmacist had a glance at it and said go to the ER right now I am 95% sure it's broken.

So on an empty stomach on a Saturday I spent my ENTIRE afternoon in the ER and in pain. My tendon is torn and when it broke it took at bit of the bone with it, hence the pain and the swelling. I have to wear a splinter and keep my finger completely straight for at LEAST a month and might have to have surgery if the tendon doesn't heal correctly. That means no cheerleading competition in march. No more lifting. Basically all I can do safely is cycle on a stationary bike bc if I run I might trip and fall on it. It makes me so sad because I really was loking forward to competing.

Also my parents were like "oh it's just a finger you can still run" and that sounded a lot like "still not an excuse to stay fat" and it made me want to cry really loud because I never realised me being fat could ever bother them more than me literally breaking a bone.

Anyway. Hopefully I'll find my mojo back soon enough but today I kind of just want to cry and eat ice cream, but since payday hasn't arrived yet AND I don't want to binge I'm just going to go to work and cry in bed tonight. Life is tough sometimes.

(5 comments)

24 January 2017

I love my body's ability to surprise me.
I have been struggling with food and it's been pretty bad so I sure as heck did not expect to have lost any weight at all but as usual I'll take it.

Tonight I'm attending my favourite cardio class AND a stretching class which I love more than anything on this planet honestly so I am really looking forward to it.
As for lunch I'm not really sure yet but we'll see what I feel like (:

Weigh-in: 140.0 lb

lost so far: 3.3 lb

still to go: 40.8 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(2 comments) losing 1.2 lb a week

20 January 2017

Oh my gosh last night was amazing BUT so bad foodwise. I had McDonalds with people I met at the concert I went to (it was a JoJo concert, remember Leave (get out) and Too Little Too Late???). The main thing though is that I HAD A GREAT TIME. Now I am back on track.
I have practice tonight and my wrist has been messed up for a few weeks but I can't stop training otherwise I won't compete in March and that's not an option I even remotely consider tbh. I hope it holds because tonight's practice will be intense as we have so many skills to master.
I'm also coaching on Sunday so I have to learn the junior team's entire routine in like 30 minutes tonight. Luckily I am good at memorizing stuff. And this morning I have to write a paper for university while I'm at work. Boy has this week been exhausting, I cannot wait to chill and do literally nothing besides stretching tomorrow.

Also, if any of you are Americans, good luck on this dreary day, here's to hoping that Trump's presidency won't be as horrible as it looks like it's going to be.

(1 comment)

19 January 2017

There is a huge psychological barrier for me at 60kgs that will make me feel so much better about myself and hopefully I'll reach it within a month so I am EXCITED already.
Feeling good today :D
Yesterday at the gym was realaly really good and I'm looking forward to this concert I'm attending tonight!
(I am very excitable I know)

(4 comments)

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