kehfeh's Journal

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19 December 2014

Reflecting on the upcoming winter months:

Since I was a teenager I knew I had depression. I was on and off medication when I was younger, ultimately stopping intake at 16. For years I dealt with this invisible weight on my shoulders, and chalked it up to be something that I would just deal with. I'd never gotten too close to people to really affect someone other than myself, so I didn't see it as a problem. It wasn't until I started dating my current boyfriend that I felt I needed change. He made me the happiest I had ever been but I couldn't actually feel happy, there was always that invisible weight bringing me down to dirt. There was no reason for me to feel so exhaustingly upset all the time. So, I saw my doctor and began a new anti-depressant regimen. It has helped me tremendously in all aspects of my life. My relationships with my family, my friends, and my boyfriend are now where they should have been all this time.

With the winter coming in and the clouds causing overcast nearly everyday, I begin to feel that internal sadness again. It makes me feel tired, unmotivated, and generally sad. The invisible weight is pushing down on me again. But now I am seeing this as a testing time of my dedication to ultimate happiness, and I will fight for that very goal. Vitamin D is not nearly praised enough for its overall benefits. With lack of sunlight comes deficiency; with deficiency comes symptoms like these: http://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/vitamin-d/evidence/hrb-20060400 (This was a neat finding, because it shows the level of research that has taken place regarding each symptom.) It can also be upsetting around the holidays knowing that you may not be able to spend it with your loved ones due to death or distance. Unfortunately, we've all been there. But because this does happen and there are so many amazing people that exist, there is always something going on in each community where people can gather together and enjoy the warmth, heart and soul, that we all exude. (Sometimes even at bars, which is AWESOME! Haha)

Whatever ails you during this cold season, please take care of yourself! Here, we have an entire website full of people with HUGE hearts, and quiet ears (or eyes in this case) that are great for listening. Like myself! If you need someone to chat with or be told that you matter, please message me! Because I can openly, truly say that I love you. I love you for being alive and making the best out of this odd, blessed chance we've been given to do something amazing. You're already on this site to better yourself, and that's one of the biggest first steps to achieving that life-long happiness we all crave! Love yourself, love your neighbor, love those who have sinned; not for their acts, but for the lessons that they teach us.

Most of all, have a great holiday season and an enlightened start to the new year. May 2015 be the best yet!

(7 comments)

18 December 2014

Back down to the lowest weight I've reached. Here's to pushing past those invisible boundaries! :)

Weigh-in: 204.6 lb

lost so far: 18.4 lb

still to go: 24.6 lb

Diet followed poorly

(13 comments) losing 1.4 lb a week

17 December 2014

Gettin there!

Weigh-in: 204.8 lb

lost so far: 18.2 lb

still to go: 24.8 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(7 comments) losing 3.5 lb a week

15 December 2014

Weigh-in: 205.8 lb

lost so far: 17.2 lb

still to go: 25.8 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(6 comments) losing 2.5 lb a week

11 December 2014

Boop! .6! Getting back on track. Kick ass today, everyone!

Weigh-in: 207.2 lb

lost so far: 15.8 lb

still to go: 27.2 lb

Diet followed poorly

(13 comments) losing 4.2 lb a week

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