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dontwant2befat's Journal

 
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17 November 2008

Major falling off the wagon issues this weekend. Didn't make it to the gym once and basically ate what I wanted. It was like my body was craving fat. Sunday after church I got to go to a Widow / Widower lunch. Very strange, I was the youngest their by about 30 years. LOL The food was good but it made me miss Larry awful bad probably a little soon do be doing things like that. Plus widow is such an ugly word I hate when people call me that.

Dealt with major teenage/greiving issues on Sunday. My son was completely out of control, being mean and nasty to his brother and sister. Screaming and throwing things when he didn't get his way. And of course you know I totally hate him and his daddy was the only person that ever loved him. Whoever told me that I was lucky I had my children to help me through this tough time was a complete idiot. I think it is only about 1000% harder to have my young children because I have thier grief that I have to deal with as well. Don't get me wrong I love them but they should have their dad and I shouldn't be having to raise them by myself. It would be a hell of alot easier to deal with my grief if I was 20 years older and only had myself to worry about. I don't know maybe I am just talking out my ass becasue I am very pissed off witht he whole situation.

Anyway on to a new week and back on the wagon. One step at a time is what I keep telling myself but honestly sometimes I just feel like lying down right in the middle of the road like a did this weekend.

16 November 2008

Weigh-in: 305.6 lb lost so far: 21.4 lb still to go: 140.6 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment steady weight

14 November 2008

Holy Cow. Never did I think when I woke up this morining would the scale give what it didn. I knew I had lost but not that much. Goes to show hard work at the gym (1 hr every night), lots of water (at least 8 cups a day) and lower cal (under the limbo pole) pays off. I do think my limb pole was a little low. I have really been missing my afternoon snake of cottage cheese and crackers so I am going to go back to my 1600 after this week. But I didn't hurt to try it one bit. And I have had these big of losses before at 1600.

On my way to work I was thinking back 6 years ago when I slipped over the 300 mark. Then is when I started rationalizing that 300 is just plain fat and one or two lbs over isn't that big a deal because no one can tell. Some how that crap stuck in my head and I kept rationalizing my way right up to 327. Right now I have lost 22.4 lbs and I dont care that is a lot for anyone wether you weigh 100, 200, 300 or more. You can't just rationalize it away. It takes work. But if you are willing to put in the work the rewards are great. I feel better, my firbo pain is more tolerable, my heart is getting in shape and I just have a much better attitude about life. If I feel this good now what is it going to be like when I get 150 lbs off? Anyway that was my ramble for the day.

Hope you all have an awsome day like I am going to have and keep making healthy choices.
Weigh-in: 305.6 lb lost so far: 21.4 lb still to go: 140.6 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (4 comments) losing 9.8 lb a week

13 November 2008

12 November 2008

Weigh-in: 308.4 lb lost so far: 18.6 lb still to go: 143.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 2.2 lb a week

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