Stephanie OA

Start Weight:(07 Aug 12) 173.0 lb
Current Weight:(31 Mar 14) 127.0 lb
Goal Weight:125.0 lb
following: Stephanie OA's own diet
performance: losing 0.3 lb a week

FatSecret member since: 07 Aug 12

Stephanie OA's Weight History



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I just made my goal weight

I've lost 40 lbs in a little over a year. I've made, and am slightly lower than, my goal weight. But I have this funny feeling in my stomach - delight, shock, wry amusement, and a teeny bit of disappointment.

I definitely am delighted to wear a bikini and cry crocodile tears that none of my clothes fit- they are too big - so I have to (aw, shucks) go shopping. I'm very satisfied with the "you look great" comments my new FB photos get. And I love posing in the mirror as I brush my teeth and seeing the lines of toned muscle under my skin.

And yet....

I gained all that weight in the first place as a way to cope with complete insanity in my life and some truly devastating circumstances. So in order to lose those pounds, I had to deal with the emotional turmoil that had packed em on. I think I've cried a tear for every molecule of adipose tissue I've shed - and I'm not quite done. It's been a painful process of consistency with my food/exercise behaviors, and finding a new way of living and coping. FatSecret has been an excellent tool for me for the first part, and I joined Overeaters Anonymous for the second. I would never have been able to diet and exercise my way to thinness or sanity. I absolutely had to have the support and guidance of OA to hold me and help me. I have such gratitude for this.

And so...

Here I am, a new size 6, and I'm realizing that "Goal Weight" does not equal "Goal Life". Prince Charming hasn't showed up to compliment me on my missing muffin top. Work still stresses me out. My ass - lunges and squats be damned - is still a bit droopy. And I will probably always have stretch marks. Realizing that my body size doesn't hugely influence the rest of my life is actually a bit startling, and disappointing.

So instead of the gleeful happy dance I had planned for this moment, I'm in a place of content acceptance. My body and life may never be perfect, but they are good. With the loss of 40 lbs I lost a ton of resentment and bad behaviors, and I gained an active lifestyle: hiking and snorkeling being among my new hobbies. I've also gained a healthy fear of what happens when I turn to food to fix my life, and a healthy support system to deal with life on life's terms. And I really enjoy putting on an outfit, meeting my eyes in the mirror, and telling myself without sarcasm, "You look beautiful."

Who knew that I'd go "on a diet" and really gain more than I had lost?
posted 23 Oct 2013, 16:28
Stephanie OA has submitted 1 post

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21 October 2013

Being active Following my food plan with moderate, tasty foods Having yummy snacks, pre-portioned at home Not eating fast food Weight-training 3x week
on diet Stephanie OA's own diet  losing 0.9 lb a week

02 October 2013

Recording this day's food because I loove vagueness. I have a list of GREAT reasons that I ate fast food twice today. And they don't change the fact ...

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AndrewYoung recorded a Weigh In at 152.0 lb.
MESMNETA commented on renatastabile's Journal Entry.
suzie-d updated their Exercise Diary.