JulofDenial's Journal, 20 May 2012

Walking / jogging for the past two weeks has definitely made the difference. Staying busy away from home is another miracle. But, the more exercise I get (and I know I've been overdoing it), the less hungry I feel, the less I eat, and the more my appetite increases. It's a strange cycle! But when my appetite increases, I can't look at food as pleasurable or nourishing. It's more like a determined monster that has power over my will, power to control me. That can't be a good thing. So I resist, knowing that the second I get time alone at home, I'm gonna binge and purge, because the call is getting louder, and my will is weakening, and once I give in, the guilt will trigger the solution. I thought I'd be over this by the time I was 25 but there is no cure for perfectionism and determination. I've slowed down on the purging, but I'll never be 100% "cured". Anyway, curing is for hams.
98.0 lb Lost so far: 15.0 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.
on diet JulofDenial's own diet   losing 4.7 lb a week



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