|
Disaster
In the midst of my greatest motivation, seeing my best results, my own body has opted to sabotage me. Again.
About a month ago, all was going well, but I was starting to get tired a lot. The workouts were getting hard. Then, I got sick. Then the news about the move came. Little by little I've been using the sleeping pills more as the insomnia gets worse. Groggy, I forget vitamins. Tired, depressed, panic sets in because I can't make it break. I'm too tired.
The panic is bad. Bad bad bad. We're not talking about just a panic attack. We're talking about a weakened adrenal system that won't be able to produce enough hormones to handle the physical effects of that stress leaving me vulnerable to fun things like strokes, heart, lung or other organ failure depending on which is the weakest.
I died from this 5 years ago. It's the reason I'm such a health nazi and so aware of my body.
Anyway, so we go to Hospital. And we stay in hospital getting pumped with hormones and amino acids and being kept in a very quiet and sedentary state to let the body normalize itself. This took about 2 weeks.
You know how you usually *lose* weight in Hospital? Not me. They make you eat carbs and an unholy amount of sugar then lie very, very still. So that was the first 7 or so lbs. The rest are my doctor's fault with his oatmeal this and whole wheat toast that. And his favorite word, "bedrest". Bastard.
So here I am, 10 days before I needed to be ready for my big reveal at this party, almost 20 lbs over where I *was*, 40 from where I *needed* to be.
I am unhappy with this.
I'll come back from it, and yes it's better than dying. I know, I know... That's just the challenge tho. I set goals and achievements for a *reason*, because I have no idea how long I have...really. None of us do. So I don't like it when my *own body* sabotages the goal in question.
The good news...I *will* be able to start getting up off the couch this week. This is good because I am allowed to do light swimming OR packing. I can get on board with that because while I do have A LOT of things to pack, it will be nice to spend at least some of that energy allotment on ME. :-)
|
187.0 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 57.0 lb.
Diet followed N/A.
|
gaining 7.0 lb a week
|