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I have finally begun to lose again. I have been really watching and really trying to enjoy myself while doing it. I think being sick really gave me an actualy break because I had a week and a half off from working out, and time to really reflect on what is important to me.
I decided that if it takes me another year to lose the rest of my weight, then it does. I am not going to kill myself anymore. I am already fairly close to my healthy weight. I say that I want to be at a goal weight of 148lbs, but I think that a more realistic goal would be at about 150-155 pounds.
I know that losing can be hard. I have done it for so long, it has just become habit, and I think I fell into a trap where I was obsessed. I think I was actually going to kill myself because I could feel that my body was tired all the time. My muscles hurt in areas that wouldn't seem to heal. That will have to be my first sign that I need a break in the future.
I went to the gym today, and I was working out with a lady who I know has a challenge to face every day of her life. She has a son who attends high school with my son and he is handicapped. She is a role model to me. Although I know that our body types are different, I will strive to be as physically fit as she is. And the thing is, this woman is sooooo kind and is always smiling. She, above anyone I know has the right to be frustrated, but she just keeps showing up at the gym and smiling away. That's the part that I want to emulate. That even if I am having a hell of a day, I can smile and all of my troubles and fears will dissappear.
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181.0 lb
Lost so far: 3.0 lb.
Still to go: 36.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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losing 2.1 lb a week
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