Pterath's Journal, 05 July 2015

Glen, I am a people pleaser and a fixer, my mother and I share these traits. We also share being the sorriest bunch of people you will ever meet. We are forever apologizing for everything even things that we had no direct involvement with. I totally understand what you are saying. And I am slowly (as this too is an ever evolving process) getting better to not knee jerk react and try to do these things. I know I need to please myself first and family too. I'm also learning to accept that I cannot always fix everything, especially if I cannot fix myself. Some things must start at home and be done for yourself and no one else. It is still hard to do that. My goal do at least one thing just for myself daily, whether that is taking the walk I do not feel I always have time for and a reward will be some time gaming or drawing or writing. I got in 2.3 miles and it would have been more but the course I planned had construction on sewers in it and not only was it a muddy mess but there was a bit of odor too so it shortened my route when I diverted around it. The bonus in the changed path that it was a 15%+ grade up and then down so I could feel the burn in my muscles. That burn a year ago would have upset me but now I relate the burn with building and using muscle not solely with discomfort/pain. Burn = Good! 

Great quotes! 

I used to also be the fixer. I decided after taking a good look at me I needed to fix me first. It's harder to fix yourself and it's a long journey. I'm still working on it but am so much happier than I was 3 years ago. I'm think I'm almost to the point where I feel I can again join in some activities and meet new people. I'm on the go and busy but most of what I've been doing is family related not so much with friends.  

You've been losing weight at an incredibly steady rate, so you're definitely doing something right. It also sounds like you're doing great with exercising. The Atkins diet drinks are very good, high in protein & much lower in carbs & calories than other diet drinks I've used. I've started on these too, though I'm not on the "Atkins Diet". I just need something to boost my weight loss a bit so I can lose enough to have my left hip replaced, then I'll be able to exercise much more to lose more weight & keep it off. The danger I've found with diet drinks is that if you lose too fast your mind, emotions, etc. don't have time to properly adjust to the changes in your body. But it looks like you've got a very good handle on that too, so no worries. Just keep doing what you're doing & you'll be slim, trim & healthy in no time. Way to go! 

I am trying to keep to my RDI of 1200 cal and 30 carbs a day, lately my carbs have ranged as high as 50 in a day this where I have steadied off in my loss lately. So I am going back to 30 or less carbs. ANd Sticking hard to the 1200 calories. 

You are doing terrific.  

110 total loss is the overall goal.... i have never made it much past the 200lb mark when trying before. Forever I had taken the wrong attitude. I have so much more energy and I can almost not get myself to stop some days and when I do hit the bed I am exhausted and sleep better than i have in years and in less pain. I see the value in the loss and exercise. 

doing great keep up the good work! 

Celebrate ALL of your victories....Keep on Keeping on!!!!! Glad to be climbing WITH you!!!!!!!!!!! 

The decrease in pain is the greatest motivator for me. I feel like I can tackle anything most days. It's such a change from waking up hurting and not wanting to do anything because everything hurt. I had to really push myself to exercise and push through the pain.  

I love having all of you guys on this climb with me! Pain is one of the biggest factors for me making this choice other than at the start hubby was like we need to do this. But reduction of pain makes the biggest difference in my days. I am not fully out of pain but it has improved greatly. The first 2-3 weeks of the reno I thought I was gonna die from the pain. I wasn't sleeping nothing helped. It got to the point where getting into bed hurt and some days it still does but it is less. Learning to do some stretching too that helps more than I ever thought it would. I have already changed and I want to continue in this direction with all of you by my side. 

I hate it when shoes don't cooperate... hope you feel better and enjoy your games...  

My trigger for losing weight was facing a knee replacement within 2 years if I did not and start some weight training to strengthen and lose at least 50 pounds, per ortho doc. I was 192 pounds then. Then an osteo scan that was positive, my Mom had it pretty bad so my GP has me on osteo prevention meds as well. I had surgery on my leg from an injury in 1986 I did not want to do that again. Over a year on crutches, not fun. My cane is my inspiration to stay on track. I'm going to decorate it in fun colors when I redo my bathroom as it hangs there to remind me everyday to stay on track. I do not want to have to use it everyday again. I also do not want to go back to living on pain meds. Do this, keep on track you will feel better and better. I can tell the difference if I don't get my strength training in, I've been about the same weight since last July.  

Shoes are a biggie I love my NB sneakers. My feet no longer like anything else.. I'd be in trouble if I had to wear heels LOL I do have my flip flops but anymore I wear them rarely, not nice to the bod.  

I have NB sneakers for walking. I was hurried yesterday and I left with my LL Bean slides on which slip. I was stubborn and hiked anyway and paid a price for it. Not that bad and I will heal. I was not given warnings by dr's or anything but keeping at it has always been my problem. Less pain is motivation. My next goal is to break below 200. I am only going to be 44 next month that would be the best thing ever as a gift to myself to make it under 200 by then. The only other thing I have is the reno completion and I need it done way before then if at all possible. 

You can do this!!! OOO slides are hard to walk in. My grandkids like them for in between games etc instead of cleats or wrestling shoes. I have a couple they are going to the Salvation Army my next trip. Too dangerous for me. I would have given up pretty quickly.  

Great quotes, especially the second one. Hope your Sunday was great!