Huh.. I think I might be THAT mom. Or maybe the teacher thought I needed chaperone training wheels. The zoo trip was great. I volunteered to basically watch my own kid. So many parent's volunteered that everyone got 2 kids to watch. I got one. Or maybe I only got my own because my kid's attention span is only 60 seconds so we looked at every animal for about 60 seconds before we ran onto the next one. We would linger with his classmates for about 90 seconds before they were designated as too slow and then he would run onward. The cool thing is they are setting up a dinosaur theme for after memorial day where the dinosaurs will move and shoot water at people. Looks like I know what I'm doing with the kids next month. Nothing better than speed walking a zoo with dinosaurs about to eat you.
Speaking of speed walking. I did a lot of thinking about some of the advice I was given regarding training for the 5K. I really did think about what people said and while I know the advice comes from a good place and some of it may be valid.... I'm kind of a stubborn brat. I think it's a skill someone really strengthens as a farmer. You set your brain on a task and you complete that task no matter how deep the manure gets, how many times you smash your thumb, or how hot you get, or where the hay flies and sticks and itches.., and when everything goes up in disaster.. at least we can stand there with our hands on our hips looking like a hot mess and proudly proclaim... Well that should have worked. Then someone gets a sledgehammer and they make it fit. That is running to me.
My last run I thought about the comment that I need to lose weight before I try running. I'm also a woman so that translated in my head to "You're too freaking fat to run." Because translating things in my head is also a talent of mine. And you know what.. it SUCKED. My time SUCKED. My ability to take the uncomfortable parts and work through them vanished. I almost quit and said screw it. That translated into my head as "Why am I even trying this? I can't do this." and then I ate cake and bought some twizzlers and stopped for sushi after the field trip... you get the idea. Mini binge/implosion. This.. is me. This is what I do. This is me struggling with feeling good enough or worthy enough. It's my own internal little battlefield.
Today? Today I'm swinging a sledgehammer and I'm going to make it work. I joined a running site with a beginners section that basically covers everything I'm going through. It has suggestions with exercises to add, adjusting my stride on hills, etc. My daughter and I have an ongoing joke about being strong like bull. I... am strong like bull. Meaning I don't give up. Plus.. if a 2000 lb bull can run then so can I.
Plus lets face it.. being heavy and out of shape is probably worse for my health in the long run than the possibility of getting some shin splints. And.. I'm pretty sure I'm already screwed by the number of times I have been kicked, had my foot crushed, or any number of other injuries caused by cows. Being unable to run from a bull is more hazardous to my health... Just sayin... Screw discomfort. I'm doing this.
