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It's time to get serious.
I have been on this weight loss journey for far too long, just kind of meandering with no real purpose. I started out at 180 back in 2010, lost a few pounds, and then I slipped and gained back even more and found myself one day at 196. I was aghast and vowed never to let myself reach 200, which is a promise I've kept to this day. I managed to lose about 25 pounds that first year, and then have been mostly stagnant ever since. I'll lose 5 or 10 pounds here or there, but then I'll gain it back a few weeks later.
Hovering around 170-175 is starting to get old. I really miss being my old skinny self. I don't like looking in the mirror and being reminded of the way I hurt myself by eating my feelings. I don't like seeing the stretch marks on my thighs and hips - further evidence of my mistakes. My pudgy belly, the way my pants are tight around the thighs, and the way my hips fall over the side of my belt are constant reminders of how little respect I had for myself all those years ago.
I need to start respecting my body again. I will take care of myself, to make it a part of my daily ritual again. I'll always have the stretch marks, but if there's muscle underneath them instead of fat, then I can live with it. I've already been through all of the really hard stuff: battling depression, fighting off suicidal thoughts, coming back from total self destruction and hitting rock bottom. If I can survive all of that, then I can definitely do this. 2018 is my year. I'm going to make it happen!
Diet Calendar Entries for 22 January 2018:
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1938 kcal
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Fat: 85.22g | Prot: 80.17g | Carb: 219.51g.
Breakfast: Danish Pastry with Fruit, Original Soymilk, Coffee, Sugar. Lunch: Sprouts Farmers Market Organic Hazelnut Spread with Cocoa, Keebler Club Crackers Original. Dinner: Boar's Head Havarti Cheese, Boar's Head Vermont Cheddar Cheese (Yellow & White), Nature's Own Honey Wheat Sliced Bread, Silk Original Soymilk, Pacific Organic Creamy Tomato Soup. Snacks/Other: Walnuts, Sprouts Farmers Market Organic Blue Agave Nectar Light, Blueberries, Green Mountain Creamery Plain Greek Yogurt 0% Fat. more...
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2104 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Sexual Activity - 2 hours, Cleaning - 40 minutes, Resting - 12 hours and 50 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours and 30 minutes. more...
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