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Never usually wright in my journal, unless its weigh in day; however, I felt the need to address a huge step in my progress. I feel it needs to be noted. ((((drum roll))))
I'm an alcoholic. Starting this diet was also a start in my sobriety (as well as an addiction to food). Today, I stopped at the gas station and bought an alcoholic energy drink (I've not had alcohol since Aug 28, this past Saturday. That may not seem like a long time to most, but to me its something worth celebrating). Anywho, back to my point. When I got home, I ordered pizza hut (stuffed crust, extra cheese). I was falling into my old addictive ways... I opened the drink and took a sip, ate a piece of pizza and it hit me. I'm not going to do this again. I'm not going to eat half a large pizza and drink my depression away. I walked over to the sink, poured the drink out and put the pizza away for the kids when they have lunch tomorrow (I am house sitting and everyone wont be where I am until tomorrow afternoon). I walked over to the fridge, grabbed my 64oz bottle of water and chugged.
THIS IS HUGE PEOPLE!!!! I'm actually figuring this all out. I dont need those things to feel better, be happy, etc. I need to be healthy for my children, I need to be sober for my husband and children. I'm only 29 years old. I'm too young to die over terrible, careless decisions (I'll save that for sky diving when I'm 85).
I feel great. I feel responsible. I feel like... like.... AN ADULT!!!!! wooooohooooooooo.
Weigh in, in 8 hours. Fingers crossed. Unfortunately, I'll probably be up all night using the potty after my water "binge." Lord, help.
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