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I feel so stupid for letting myself gain all this weight again. It took SO long to lose it, and only a couple of months to gain it. It must be fairly common for it to happen after a wedding, I just didn't think I'd let myself. But I have! I feel like I've lost the motivation, I just didn't see a good enough reason to keep it off when everything tasted so good. Wedding's over, who's going to look at me again? Me and the husband both gained a lot of weight.
I really need to find some motivation again. I'm noticing physical symptoms coming back that I didn't even realise had gone, I feel out of breath just climbing up stairs, I feel tired all the time, I don't notice when I'm full and I hardly ever feel hungry because I fill myself up before I get to that point. My clothes are feeling much tighter and I'm having to get my bigger clothes back out from the depths of my closet, the ones that I hoped I'd never have to wear again! I feel heavier, which means I don't feel like moving around as much. I'm snoring more and having more difficulty breathing clearly when I go to bed (which I barely even noticed had gotten easier when I lost weight, but now that I've put it back on I can really feel a difference)! My belly is huge again and overhangs, I have major muffin top. When I look at myself in the mirror I have to stretch my neck or look up slightly so that I don't see the double chin that's creeping back.
Actually writing all this down is making me remember how good it felt to have lost weight. It felt good to fit into my trousers so well that there was no tightness or skin poking over the sides of my jeans. It felt good to be able to walk around in a dress and not have sweaty, raw, sore thighs or have to wear shorts underneath. It felt good to be able to squeeze into a size 12 leather biker jacket, size 12! If only I had kept going a little bit more and been able to fit into it comfortably.
I'm so glad I was able to lose the weight for my wedding, I'm so happy with the photos and how I looked on the day, and the memory will always be with me.
If I think back though, the real reason I started losing weight wasn't for the wedding. It was for Japan. I was going to Japan, and I didn't want to be this huge fat person in a land of tiny, slim, beautiful people. It really worked! Of course, I want to go back to Japan. I've known for ages that I want to go back. So why isn't this motivating me to lose weight? Maybe when I book the trip?
I just need to keep reminding myself how good it felt to be thinner (Not thin, but thinner), and how much I want to be back there. Looking at a Sandals resort brochure did make me imagine myself in a bikini and I felt some of that burning desire to lose it again. That was a couple of days ago and since then I've really been trying, maybe this month will be the re-start of my weight loss journey?
Diet Calendar Entries for 03 March 2015:
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1940 kcal
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Fat: 71.73g | Prot: 101.91g | Carb: 219.56g.
Breakfast: Tesco Strawberry Jam, Butter, Asda Oven Bottom Muffins, Weetabix Weetabix, Semi-Skimmed Milk. Lunch: Egg, Asda Oven Bottom Muffins. Dinner: Olive Oil, Aero Chocolate Mousse, Baked Sweetpotato (Peel Eaten), Cooked Savoy Cabbage (Fat Added in Cooking), Roasted Turkey Drumstick (Skin Not Eaten). Snacks/Other: Fage Total Greek Yoghurt, Maryland Double Choc Chip Cookie, Nestle Coffee Mate. more...
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