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Libby, this started as a response to your concerns, and kind of turned into my own personal brain-dump on nutrition. I'll probably be editing and adding for a while.
I've come to the conclusion that most of the confusion around "carbs" is because everyone likes to think of their food as simply as possible, and the nutrition industry has done a piss-poor job of communicating. So I'm going to talk about all the "macro-nutrients" in depth.
"Protein" is really a way to describe certain kinds of amino acids. There are 22 that are nutritionally relevant to humans, and of those 22, 8 CANNOT BE PRODUCED BY THE BODY, and those MUST be obtained from food sources. (if you've ever heard the words "complete protein" it means a protein source containing all 8 of those acids.) Animal sources are the most complete and highest concentration of those crucial 8 essential amino acids. This is why vegetarians have to be conscientious, and why Veganism is unhealthy for infants. So even if you're eating my world-famous lentil soup (which has about 12g of protein per cup), you still need to get protein from elsewhere, too, because it's not a complete protein. (Actually, it's perfectly complete when combined with Oats!)
"Fat" should REALLY be broken down into Polyunsaturated, Monounsaturated, Saturated, and man-made fats (like Trans). The "saturation" of the fat has to do with how many molecular bonds it has available to attach to free atoms in your body. Some Saturated fat is totally fine to eat, but your body does better if it has one (mono) or several (poly) spots to stick garbage and get rid of it.
Now, to what you really wanted to know:
"Carbohydrates" are any compound containing a Carbon, Hydrogen, and an Oxygen molecule. (Basically any Carbon plus water. Carb-o-hydrate.) Nutritionally, the important things to know are that the four basic types of carbs can be simplified into two: Sugar, and stuff your body can use. In the US, nutrition labels are broken down into "Total Carbohydrates, Sugar, and Dietary Fiber." Fiber helps you poop. Whatever ISN'T sugar or fiber can be used to run your body. You do not need sugar. At all. So when you are deciding what to eat, remember that carbohydrates aren't evil. However, you do not NEED carbohydrates, and the mono- and di-saccharides (sugars), can fuck up your body's ability to use the oligosaccharides (fiber and bacteria-food) and polysaccharides (energy and cell-structure). It's interesting to note, though, that unlike those magical 8 amino acids, no carbohydrate is ESSENTIAL for humans. That is, you can make everything you need in-house. I, however, like to eat fiber because being able to poop makes me much less cranky.
All that is to say that I feel like the demonization of "carbs" is meaningless. The issue is mono- and disaccharides, i.e. sugar. Poly- and oligosaccharides CAN be broken down into glycogen by your liver, and they do prevent your body from burning ketones for fuel, but the process is so much slower that it shouldn't freak out your insulin production. In english: if you must eat "carbs", at least avoid sugar like it'll give you cancer, and try to get a decent amount of fiber.
The first building block in any diet plan should be Protein - it's the one thing you can't do without, and there are piles of studies showing that a high-protein diet, even without exercise (but much more effectively with resistance training), not only burns more actual fat, but preserves muscle and bone mass. 1g per pound of lean body weight to 1g per pound of total bodyweight is recommended. There are 4 calories per gram of protein, so figure out what percentage of your calorie goal that is. The remainder should be more fat (and as much unsaturated as possible) than carbohydrates, and of your carbohydrates, limit sugar as strictly as possible (i try to keep it under 10g a day, and most of that is lactose), and work on getting your fiber intake up. 25g is optimal, and a huge challenge to hit.
So the conclusion I've come to is that if I don't NEED carbs, and it has been shown over and over that sugars in particular (to over-simplify, anything on an ingredient list that ends in -ose, and quite a few that don't) actually fucks my ability to un-store fat... and un-storing fat is my goal, then I should just get rid of the problem. But that's the thing about sugars. They taste good. And I found I was getting a ton, even when I didn't eat "sweets". It's in EVERYTHING. (Also, fruit is certainly nutritious, but that doesn't make it the best choice for my current goals. And if your body IS reacting poorly to sugar neither the nutrients nor the (lower than people think) amounts of fiber in fruit will protect you from all that fructose.) If you want fiber, eat vegetables. If you don't know what veggies have fiber, use a deep nutrition calculator like nutritiondata.com. (Legumes are probably your best bet, followed by cruciferous veggies.) If you're worried about nutrients, just remember that veggies are at least as high, and often higher, in vitamins than fruit.
So would a slow ween off carbs work? I dunno. If you kept everything else the same, the reduction in calories should theoretically help lose weight, but if your glycogen is unable to un-store fat, then you're just going to be very hungry, and STILL unable to get rid of excess fat. I say ditch the carbs totally for a couple of weeks and let your body normalize. Then reintroduce carbs, slowly, (1 piece of fruit a day slowly) to see if you're back to functioning properly. If not, back off again until you are. I probably could eat some fruit now, and not have it be a big deal, but the truth is... I quit craving sweets. I don't miss it. Having know a number of people who've overcome various addictions, the way I felt about sweets then vs. now sounds eerily similar, and since I don't currently miss them, I'd rather wait and deal with the slow reintroduction when I can monitor how I feel rather than my body fat level.
As for your other concern, when you eat your heaviest meal really doesn't matter. (Or matters so little that it doesn't matter for normal humans.) The net metabolic effects of eating are the same no matter when or how often you eat. Anyone telling you differently is probably selling meal-replacement supplements.
To anyone who might be reading this who doesn't know me: I am not a dietitian, a doctor, or a nutritionist. I'm a fat chick who is much less fat right now, and who has spent a ludicrous amount of time scouring the internet for nutrition information. Your best bet is to do your own research, and be your own guinea pig, but this philosophy has worked very well for me.
Diet Calendar Entries for 11 May 2011:
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866 kcal
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Fat: 35.89g | Prot: 103.77g | Carb: 35.93g.
Breakfast: 100% Whey Protein. Lunch: flax seed, Solid White Albacore Tuna (Kirkland Signature), dill relish, Lite Safflower Mayonnaise, Celery. Dinner: avocado, Kroger carbmasters. Snacks/Other: Pro Performance 100% Casein Protein - Vanilla. more...
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2867 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Sleeping - 8 hours, Standing - 7 hours, Resting - 8 hours and 45 minutes, Stretching (yoga) - 15 minutes. more...
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