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Ok== question for you all.. How do you deal with a spouse that is on a diet, and loosing weight (not as fast as I am- still since April she lost 45 lbs, no small feat).. and yet she is, for lack of better term, jealous of me loosing all of my weight- and for the attention, that I do not want. At church, they are making a big deal of my weight loss, and I try to tell people that Barbara (my wife) has lost 45 lbs as well.. trying to get people to notice her.. but it is going on deaf ears.
She has been battling "demons" of her past as well (a former very close friend told her long time ago.. "well not everyone likes you!" and that is haunting her today...).. She feels very alone, and I am at a loss to help her..
I told her that even though we both love the church that we go too, it might be time to leave it and find another church-- she said that she is not interested in it.. but I am just at a loss.. any suggestion..
OK she is from New Jersey, and we live in Indiana.. and yes, she does at times- due to being from NJ.. come across at times uncaring or harsh.. but she is one of the most caring person that I know.. just frustrated.. any suggestions?
Diet Calendar Entry for 17 August 2014:
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1862 kcal
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Fat: 42.60g | Prot: 89.62g | Carb: 290.98g.
Breakfast: Fiber One 90 Calorie Brownies - Chocolate Fudge, Fiber One 90 Calorie Cinnamon Coffee Cake. Lunch: Pineapple, Lay's Original Baked Potato Chips, Cub Foods Hamburger Buns, Grilled Chicken. Dinner: Fiber One 90 Calorie Brownies - Chocolate Fudge, Great Value Light Nonfat Yogurt, Great Value Light Nonfat Yogurt, Pineapple, Jell-O Fat Free Sugar Free Vanilla Pudding, Lay's Oven Baked Sour Cream & Onion Chips, Cub Foods Hamburger Buns, Grilled Chicken. Snacks/Other: Aunt Millie's 35 Calorie Whole Grain Bread, Perdue Grilled Chicken Breast Strips. more...
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 Comments
I feel for you and wanting to help your wife. It seems unfair, but it has been proven that men lose weight faster because they have more muscle and muscle simply burns energy more quickly. It's hard when I see guys that go on a diet for a week and drop 5 pounds. It's just a fact that women will have to work a bit harder and eat a lot less for the same results. I know that doesn't help with how your wife "feels" about it. Truth is, you can't "make" anyone "feel" different. All you can do is support her, encourage her with her diet and activity goals. I recently did a personality test online and it wasn't very flattering, so I started looking up resources to work on my social skills. I even dug up my copy of "How to Make Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Ultimately though, I am reminded of a story that my sister tells about my very popular nephew coming home from school at around 8 years old and saying "Not everybody likes Brent". Not everybody is going to like you, just like you are not going to like everybody. It's hard sometimes to find people you have things in common with. It's one of the reasons I have found this community so wonderful here at FS. We are sharing a very challenging goal together. Maybe your wife could find a local weight-loss group where she would find like-minded individuals. TOPS is very inexpensive. Kudos to you for your sensitivity and concern about her feelings with the people at church and for trying to share the limelight with her. Congratulations on your weight loss too. Great job!
18 Aug 14 by member: ChrisSpark
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