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There's something to say about saying the things you need to say, when you don't need anything in return. You do it for you, regardless of the response or the outcome. I think my husband is the one person I am best at doing it with. It allows me to let him completely into my heart and my world. So many times I have said, "It may not be reality, but it's how I feel." He's told me it's important because irrational or not, it's my feelings and they matter. I have truly begun to believe that is the truth and the action of actually "loving" a person. Not just loving a person right or wrong, loving a person for what's behind the actions and the words.
I've carried a weight for two and half years, I needed to let that weight go. It doesn't matter wrong or right. Everyone has their own reality. In mine, I was heartbroken, devastated even. I didn't understand. I still can't see what I could have done differently than to pour my heart out and hope someone understood. If they couldn't, they couldn't. I wrestled with that turmoil. That same turmoil redirected to me to understand that my life is blessed in the family that surrounds me. The ones that look at me with love and understanding and forgiveness. No standards that I must meet, only the standards I hold for myself. It helped me begin to fully believe that they are all that I need to make my heart full.
It's letting things truly go so the voice that peeps in can finally quiet.
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