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Feeling blah~
Has anyone ever had a time in their life when nothing seems to be going their way?
I have been feeling so off the last couple months. I have begun a new relationship as well as have a medical issue which is preventing me from working. I feel as though I have become dependant on this man who says he loves me until the end of time. I feel somewhat trapped.
I am a pretty independant woman and I like to know that if anything should ever happen in my life, I have something to fall back on. Me not working right now has left me feeling very scared, worried, and insecure.
I have been hurt before in my past relationships and I have always been left scared and worried that money will not be there when I need it to be. This is why this moment in my life is so worrisome because I feel as though I have nothing to fall back on in the event that something-anything-could happen.
That's me though. I have always wanted to be prepared for the worst. I fear the worst because time and again, the worst has presented itself to me. I know that this is very negative thinking, but I have lost a lot of trust in people over the years and I have begun to think that maybe I am better off alone just by myself. That way, if anything ever "failed" I know that it would be only because I allowed it too.
I have been soul searching and asking my spirit guides to please protect me and to guide me in the right direction with everything from my health to my finances, and each time I do, I have positive reassurance from them.
Most people don't believe in spirit guides (also known as our own personal protective angels). I do. They are the one thing in my life that has always remained constant. They have never let me down and I have always asked them for things and they have always given them to me.
However, when it comes to love, I have always felt I would be doomed. I have alway felt like I would just never "get it"-the love that most people have the rest of their lives that makes them grow old together and look forward to the future. I have been "un"happily married. I was also in an eight year relationship with my best friend whom I had a lovely daughter with. I have three beautiful children. And now, I have a wonderful, loving, caring boyfriend who would give me the world if he could, but I just can't seem to get past the trust issues. That is something that I am going to work on over the next few months, years, lifetime if I have to.
I need to learn to trust people again. Specifically, the people who tell me they love me.
I know that this website is for us dieters who yearn to lose our weight and to get healthy, but really, what's being healthy without our mental health being in check also? I truly think that you could lose all the weight you want to and still be unhappy until you figure out what to do to make your mind happy. I am at that point in my life right now.
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