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Oh boy. Holidays are hard, they really send me spinning out of control with the diet plans. I really feel like the more I try, the more I fail. Where is my commitment, dedication, and resolve? Am I weak willed?? I am getting fed up. I have been struggling with the same few pounds over and over. It's like I just can't let it go. Why can't I let the weight go?? I don't know if no carbs is going to work for the long term. I just love them so much even though I know they will NOT help me lose weight. I love beer. I love pizza. I love cake. WHY? I am truly lamenting here because I am just so fed up. I just feel like I am never going to get this down. I will never get down to my goal weight. I will never be happy with the way I look. I will never be truly healthy. I am hardly ever this negative but this is the truth of how I feel right now. I read in numerous articles that dieting is unhealthy and that diets don't work. I am starting to believe it. Unless people learn to change what is on the inside and their relationship with food, the weight will continue to come back because they will just go back to doing what made them that size in the first place. It's got to start on the inside first. Why can't I get there? Why am I holding myself back. This is what I need to figure out.
On another note I am seriously considering trying to juice fast for a little while. My desires need a serious overhaul. Perhaps I can use the juicing as an opportunity to explore my relationship with food. I need to know why I give in to my food desires so easily. I want to know why I am so addicted to this food anyway. Juicing will make my body forget about all of that, and some meditation and reflection will take care of the rest. I wish they made a manual about this stuff. So many thousands of books have been written about the best way to lose weight. Not enough of them focus on the reasons why we become overweight to begin with. We don't go deep enough into the psychology about over eating and unhealthy behaviors. I must have a thought or a belief about myself that is holding me back, and that is in addition to the physical addiction piece. I really believe that. I need to figure this out, I have to stop disappointing myself!!
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191.5 lb
Lost so far: 5.5 lb.
Still to go: 46.5 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 31 May 2013:
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873 kcal
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Fat: 41.22g | Prot: 32.27g | Carb: 78.86g.
Breakfast: Olive Garden Chocolate Mousse Cake. Lunch: Feta Cheese, Mixed Salad Greens, Grilled Chicken (Skin Not Eaten), Cucumber (with Peel), Pizza with Meat. Snacks/Other: Miller Brewing Company Lite Beer (Bottle), Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, Hershey's Chocolate Assortment Miniatures. more...
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gaining 1.3 lb a week
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