pam-u-la's Journal, 02 September 2012

Day 15 of 65
Mood: steady at a 5.5
Food: improved slightly to a 5
Activity level: low in lazy mode

This is attempt #2 at a jurnal entry because I deleted my last one by mistake oops!!

Grateful/ thankful for:
Spending time with my mom
Seeing old friends at the festival yesterday
Hugs smiles
The amazing sunset last night
Peace and quiet this morning
Life and being me with all my quirks

Yesterday was an interesting day. Went to the festival with mom which was not all that great. But we walked around it anyways. Since it did not take long we headed to the down town mall to pick up a few things. We also bought our tickets to the fair next weekend which I am really looking forward to because it has been a very long time since I have been and even longer since I have been with my mom. I hold a lot of fond memories of going to the fair as a kid. Mom, dad, my baby brother and me. Funny tho as a teenager I hated it, and now as an adult I'm looking forward to it. Time does change things.
Anyways yesterday I saw some things that opened my eyes. Once again there was a pretty young lady of large stature get on the bus, who in my opinion was wearing inappropriate clothes. These clothes would be inappropriate on a slender girl too. Well she got on the bus at one stop and got off a block and a half later. Why I thought would she do that? I would have rather seen her walk slowly to her destination then take the bus and have everyone stare and snicker at her. Is that bad that all I could think was why?
That was incident #1! #2 came from being downtown and seeing peopler down and out on their luck! The sadness of what I saw was heartbreaking! Knowing that so many of these people were literally killing themselves with booze and drugs. Even saw one man who obviously had mental health issues dig through the garbage cans to eat and drink stuff people had thrown away. If I had had some extra money on me I would have bought him a meal.
All these things that I saw really got me thinking! The young lady.. When I was much, much bigger wearing tight clothes was not an option that I even considered. Was that because I did not have the courage or self confidence? Plus I would not have taken the bus for such a short distance no matter what. However what has stopped me from being in her shoes?
Next the individuals downtown, at one time I did drink a lot. But after severe hangovers and some really embarassing moments I stopped. But I could have carried on, once again what really stopped me? What abut hiding my sorrow and pain in drugs? I have hung around a lot of people who have fallen into the realm of drug addiction yet it was not something I ever became a part of! Why?
Perhaps their is something deep inside that isd thanks to my upbringing that I have been able to avoid all these things.
I am still thinnking about all this today. Maybe it's a soul search, a place to re-think the purpose of what I am really doing. To acknowledged the positve changes I have already done and what is left to do.
Sorry everyone this journal had very little to do with eating or exercise but these are my thoughts.
Hope evryone has a thoughtful Sunday!

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1608 kcal

Fat: 22.32g | Prot: 34.79g | Carb: 329.73g.   Breakfast: Special K Low Fat Granola, Multi Grain Cheerios, Dried Cranberries, True Almond Vanilla, White Sugar (Granulated or Lump), Coffee, Sugar. Lunch: No Calorie Sweetener, Tea (Brewed), Saltine Crackers, Fruitsations Unsweetened Peach Medley. Dinner: Tahini Sesame Butter Seeds, Milled Flax Seed, Medium Salsa, Macaroni (Cooked). Snacks/Other: Dried Prune, Grapefruit (Pink and Red), Navels Oranges, Bananas, Diet Mountain Dew (Bottle), Water, Lemon, Grapefruit (Pink and Red). more...

1684 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Housework - 30 minutes, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 2 hours and 30 minutes, Shopping - 1 hour, Resting - 12 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...