cindylynnwho's Journal, 21 August 2012

About my weight goal:

A buddy mentioned something about not going under my goal weight and I wanted to clarify my goals. My goal when I came back to fatsecret was 130. I set it to 132 (after reaching 132) so I wouldn't be tempted to pressure myself to lose the other two lbs and would accept the decent weight I am at now. And it has totally worked! But I would not mind if I went to 130-- probably not further though and here's why:

When I first joined fat secret, in 2007, I was 207lbs and I set my goal low (i.e., low achieving) at 140. After achieving my goal, however, my body naturally went down to 120 without me trying and while maintaining excellent health. That was the weight I had been before gaining as a young adult, but for some reason, the second time around, I got a lot of comments for a long period of time that seemed to make the implication that I might be anorexic. I have never been anorexic, and I think I got these comments for two reasons (1) I work in mental health and everybody's always looking for disorders (2) many, many people have told me that I always look much skinnier than I actually am. I don't know why this is! I actually gained weight on purpose because I was really uncomfortable with these comments and figured I must look like crap. I did this in part by eating less healthily, just to stop hearing these comments. Then I gained some more on accident, and started looking lumpy and flabby and experiencing minor health problems such as insomnia, acne, bad pms. These are the problems I came back to eliminate, but if my body decides to go down one or two pounds, I can fit in some more of my best pants! Or, I can stay at 132. I love myself the way I am now- or whatever happens. That's a good place to be. Health does not come only with a certain single number on the scale! I actually tried to eliminate my weight goal because of this but couldn't figure out how. I think that as long as my weight is healthy (not too high or low) maybe I will keep resetting it to whatever I am! :)

Things I am grateful for:
fatsecret buddies
my husband's birthday coming up
spending the upcoming weekend with my parents
my sunburn is healing
completing my study plan for ecopsychology
getting a lot done at work
the weather outside, though noisy, is not dangerous
(whoops... my husband just said there's a flood advisory!)
but we'll be okay :)
kittens!

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Comments 
P.S. ha, look! I changed my goal weight to 131.8. Happy. :) 
21 Aug 12 by member: cindylynnwho
I am so proud of you! You perfectly articulated how I define health and hope to define myself at my optimal weight.  
21 Aug 12 by member: Heidijoy
As long as you maintain your health then anything goes. Numbers on the scale me zip as long as you feel good. Funny you should mention eating disorders, my doctor is always asking about my appetite? Maybe this is why. Have a good day and take care. 
22 Aug 12 by member: pam-u-la
Happy goal weight day to you!!! 
22 Aug 12 by member: Neptunebch
I did the same thing! My goal is 160, but if I am 162 or 15o whatever...happy gal. Do what is right for you and how you feel healthiest! 
22 Aug 12 by member: jessabridge4444
thanks, ladies! :) 
24 Aug 12 by member: cindylynnwho

     
 

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