madaboutmoose's Journal, 25 July 2012

Here I am ... Wednesday and tooth extraction day. I'll be glad when this day is done and I'm hopefully on the mend. It has been a long couple of weeks with this darn tooth.

Today is our annual summer meeting with my colleagues at work. We'll be learning about evidence-based practices to support interventions with little ones on the autism spectrum and/or displaying autistic like behaviors. Some of our colleagues to the south of us just finished a year long training program with an expert in the field and our supervisor will be sharing what they learned. They witnessed some very dramatic results with the kids they served during the training program.

The downside of the meeting is access to food ALL DAY LONG. We have a potluck breakfast and lunch during these meetings. I "cooked" by going to the deli and buying sliced turkey, ham, and roast beef and will slice up some Dubliner cheese and put out some pickle spears. I'm exhausted by the effort. LOL!!! Just couldn't think of anything I wanted to cook and snacking on pieces of protein is a good thing for me. And ... if there is any left over it won't go to waste.

I'm frustrated by the stall on the scale. However, I imagine that the tooth issue might be complicating things. My body is working overtime to compensate for this infection and pain. So I am trying to just keep going and not worry too much about what the number says. It is difficult. I've been good at Pilates too and I know that has an impact on my body. I don't really notice any differences yet but that's okay. It will happen, right?

My attitude hasn't been great either. Like several of my buddies here I've been in major funkland. Oh I have moments of "okayness" but I am really struggling. Some of it could be hormonal since I am in that magic age range that women so look forward to their entire lives (NOT!!!). I know that some of it is stress over a long period of time. I'm really good at managing stress in general but I think it has gone on for so long, with some minor breaks, that I easily slip from the place where I am able to maintain balance. Which makes it even more important to eat well and exercise .... eating poorly and not exercising doesn't help my body, mind, and spirit recover.

We've had some very nice weather the last couple of days. I wish I could send some of our chilly nights to Stephanie and others who have been sweltering in 100+ temperatures for much too long.

So I have been trying to think about things I'm grateful for and ways I can be kind to myself as I drive from home visit to home visit in my work. I've been kind to myself by stopping myself from feeling badly about gaining weight. It is what it is and it doesn't mean I am a bad person. I just can't dwell on it. It doesn't help. I am kind to myself by letting myself "zone out" by playing Bejeweled Blitz for mindless entertainment. I was kind to myself by painting my toenails. I am kind to myself by trying to talk about what is dragging me down with friends who are willing to listen. I don't go into details here because it feels much too public and many of you really don't want to hear the gory details and it would take far too much time to write!! LOL!!

I am grateful for many things ...

The beautiful area I live in.
My mother.
My dearest friend.
My work.
Cool summer nights.
Daily coffee.
My husband's heart.
My dear dog.
My fatsecret buddies.
My overall health.

And many more but time is running out. I must shower, prepare my deli platter, get dressed and ready for the day. At some point my feelings will shift and life won't seem like such a struggle. I know that and look forward to when that occurs ... whenever that may be. I am not fond of this feeling that I carry with me ... of being tired, feeling dragged down, dread ... and I know the pain in my mouth complicates all that. I appreciate the company on the journey. Take care my friends ... hopefully all goes well today!!!

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290 kcal

Fat: 17.91g | Prot: 23.87g | Carb: 5.16g.   Breakfast: Salsa Verde, Egg, Velveeta Shreds Queso Blanco. more...

2884 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Sitting - 2 hours, Driving - 1 hour, Pilates - 20 minutes, Resting - 6 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Desk Work - 6 hours. more...