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Feeling confident in my ability to do this...like I may finally have my head on straight for the first time in a long time! Just hoping saying it out loud doesn't jinx me like it has so many times in the past.
It's funny when you have so much to lose you have multiple reactions...first, that being 20+ pounds down is such a huge accomplishment and you feel proud of your efforts, but secondly, you subconsciously think why can't people notice that I've lost that much weight already. And for me it's a double edge sword...do I want people to notice and be happy for me for how far I have already come, absolutely YES...but, in all my many years traveling up and down the hills of this journey it never fails...as soon as people really do start to notice that always seems to flip a switch within me. It's almost like...well...I've done enough now for people to notice which means I now look better and feel better so I don't have to keep working at it. So, almost inevitably that next part of my journey no longer has downhill momentum...it seems only another hill presents itself and I revert back to the same old patterns and my weight begins climbing yet again. Sadly, my elevation just continues to grow with every hill because every weight gain is greater than the last. Surely some of you can relate?!?!
It's a vicious...vicious cycle...and I am praying that I finally have a new found control!!! Let's take the control back....we can do it!!!!
Diet Calendar Entry for 22 May 2018:
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722 kcal
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Fat: 25.20g | Prot: 40.15g | Carb: 62.75g.
Breakfast: Philadelphia 1/3 Less Fat Cream Cheese, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Original Cooking Spray, Thomas' Bagel Thins - Everything. Lunch: Kikkoman Less Sodium Soy Sauce, Tokyo Joe's Tuna Roll, Benihana Hibachi Scallops, Benihana Hibachi Vegetables, Benihana Hibachi Shrimp. more...
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