Bird Fancier's Journal, 01 August 2013

August 1 - a NEW START. I got the courage to weigh myself knowing that it was going to be a traumatic experience...just like everything else in my life at this time. Reasons for extreme weight gain:
Deep Depression
Thyroid Issues
Marriage problems
Offspring problems
Financial Problems
Menopause
Took on graveyard shift lifestyle
Sleep Disorder
Lack of support
Lack of motivation
Eating like everyone else in my household
Eating anything and everything and lots of it to squelch my disappointments, hatreds, frustrations
Eating at all hours of the day and night
Caving in to sabotage
Self destruction.

Things I can change:
Eating habits
Try to get support online
Eating schedule
Go to doctor for medical issues
Walk/jump daily

Jealous family members say that I gained all my weight back because I was on "CRAZY" atkins ...yet when I ate Atkins I was healthy, Vibrant and happier. I HAD SUCCESSFULLY LOST 65 POUNDS. NOW, I WEIGH MORE -250 POUNDS AND THEY ARE HAPPIER. I HATE MY LIFE. I WISH I COULD SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME AND I COULD EMPTY MY CABINETS OF JUNKSHIT. GOD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH I NEED TO TURN MYSELF AROUND.

So, I need to sneak this way of eating to avoid the comments and persecutions. It will be my little fat secret.

250.0 lb Lost so far: 0 lb.    Still to go: 50.0 lb.    Diet followed N/A.

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1351 kcal

Fat: 116.46g | Prot: 60.70g | Carb: 8.12g.   Breakfast: Butter (Salted), Nutiva Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, Water, Egg, Best Foods Real Mayonnaise. Lunch: Nutiva Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, Andy Boy Romaine Lettuce, Mezzetta Non-Pareil Capers, StarKist Foods Solid White Albacore Tuna, Water, Best Foods Mayonnaise. Dinner: Nutiva Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, Water, Andy Boy Romaine Lettuce, Mezzetta Non-Pareil Capers, StarKist Foods Solid White Albacore Tuna, Best Foods Real Mayonnaise. Snacks/Other: Nothing after 8. more...

2762 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Resting - 16 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...