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Had a couple of emotional triggers amping things up a bit. I feel too much. I take on other people's pain. I found out a friend had a miscarriage and felt the grief and sadness for her. Crying about it now. The idea of the loss of life. Another life. Again. After that man a week ago killed two of his children, and it just goes on, there's death every where I turn, and it hurts. Anniversaries coming up of deaths that seem to be as if they happened yesterday. It made the voices louder. As a bit of comfort I did have some chocolate. I had mostly calmed down my emotions so it wasn't an all out, eat up the whole hog and the gizzards too chow down. It was six pieces of sugar free candy. It satisfied the craving and urge. It was just a kind of nice pick me up. I am really hoping this does not lead to another hospitalization. It is picking up speed this evening. Back up. It's the evening. It's always worse in the evening. Nothing new there. To my voices I dedicate the following: Demi Lovato - SkyscraperPeace, love, and chicken grease. And no, I am not Mary.
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 Comments
As someone who has had anxiety I hope you do have someone to talk to both as a friend and professionally. To feel some grief for a friend is normal, and human. To feel someone's death too much after a couple of years pass, maybe a bit much for lack of a better phrase coming to mind. I stopped watching the news after a while because it was all so negative. Sensationalism. All the good things that exist out there don't get the ratings as high as sensationalism does. I just read the topics that interest me online and ignore the TV rating and clickbait (just to get you to read it/get more page visits stuff). I can't eat sugar free candy, it makes me sick. Or any candy at this point thanks to GI issues, but the Enjoy Life Dark Chocolate seems to agree with me at least. It is gluten, dairy, soy, and nut free but you really wouldn't know it. Check out sites like http://www.littlethings.com/category/dog/ for positive/funny stories.
27 Mar 15 by member: TxRobin
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Checkout The Chemistry of Calm: A Powerful, Drug-Free Plan to Quiet Your Fears and Overcome Your Anxiety by Henry Emmons, MD. I haven't read it, but he also has The Chemistry of Joy: A Three-Step Program for Overcoming Depression Through Western Science and Eastern Wisdom
27 Mar 15 by member: TxRobin
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Henry Emmons is one cool guy - I have met him twice! He lives in my area.
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I might have to the check those out. It's not just regular anxiety. It's the voices as well. They're pretty strong right now, but it's almost time for me to get to some sleep. I don't watch the news. My TV doesn't pick up any channels and I got rid of cable TV so I can get any channels. BUT there is a person in the building that goes on and on about the stories, I get up and leave, but I still hear them in coffee group the next morning. I skim over FB and they're there. I have a therapist and I've been talking to her about the anniversaries that are surfacing as they are. They didn't hit me like this last year. It's strange. The mind is a weird place. Toss in schizophrenia and bipolar and it makes Wonderland look like Banality Land.
27 Mar 15 by member: maelynpeacock
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I figured it wasn't anxiety, but didn't want to be an armchair psychologist and can only speak from my experience. Also, I have family and friends and former coworkers with schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. Lack of sleep and not eating right really affects/affected them, not just the right meds or not taking them. I just thought Emmons' laid back, non-judgemental style while giving facts discussing the biological end of things might be a good read.
28 Mar 15 by member: TxRobin
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It probably is. It is something I can look into when I have money for it. Which will be Friday. I just don't have it right now. I will try to remember it at that time. I can't make any promises to even remember this moment in ten minutes from now.
28 Mar 15 by member: maelynpeacock
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I checked the Emmons book out from the library.
29 Mar 15 by member: TxRobin
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