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Good morning everyone! Well this is odd isn't it? A real full length Yolanda journal. Here goes :)
I haven't made good food choices lol. Period. I have tried to make some better choices here and there, like a fiber one bar instead of a chocolate bar, and calorie free beverages, but I still give myself a big fat F on intake during these stressful weeks. In fact a few times I know that I have eaten for no other reason than that I was stressed. How easily our past bad habits weasel their way back into our lives. It has been hard, insanely hard, adjusting to a completely new schedule. First it was adding school in the evening on top of my work schedule, now it's getting the kids back to school. It will be easier to make time for me when the kids are in school, but tomorrow is my sons first day of kindergarten and I am stressed beyond belief about it. And I will start working with new clients in the next few weeks and that will be a transition too. I feel like my face is looking fat, guilty conscience perhaps? Probably. Only one thing I can do about that, and that involves more doing and less talking about it. I ate a big ol bowl of honeycombs before I got on this site, I'll try to make that my last poor choice for today.
I did the ALS ice bucket challenge over the weekend. Any one else get nominated for that craziness? It was frigid, but fun. And for a good cause of course. I also got a 100% on an exam last night. I'm the only person in the class to have a perfect test, and I've done it twice. Boom.
I don't like it when people are envious of me, it's really not fair. A couple examples, a good friend of mine is insanely envious of the relationship I have with my husband... and she admits it. But a few things have come up and I'm not sure how to take it. Once I had her son over to my house and while he was here he made a comment to my daughter "well we are not rich like you guys". Excuse me? I know this is something he had to have heard from his mom because he's freaking eight, and their house is three times the size of ours. I am much better with money than his mom is, (our incomes have to be nearly the same) and we have cedar point passes and went on a camping trip this past summer so I assume that's where it must have come from. Then during the ice bucket challenge she made a big deal over my husband referring to me as "my lovely wife". That crap gets under my skin. Then last night after class one girl said that things must come really easily for me... I beg your pardon?? I know I don't have to explain myself to anyone but I have literally worked my ass off for every little thing I have, and I probably have triple the bullshit to deal with. I guess people think my life is perfect because I don't air my dirty laundry for the world to see, or bitch about my husband every day. I don't know, but I seem to get petty jealous comments a lot lately, and I find it very frustrating.
Enough of the rant, I need to get back to worrying about me not what everybody else is thinking about me. I also need to reclaim some control over my diet, and get back to the gym tomorrow morning after my son gets on the bus. It will probably help to distract me if I leave right after the kids do... which is at 6:45 in the stinkin morning! That's what I'll do.
Have a wonderful day guys!
Diet Calendar Entry for 27 August 2014:
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1447 kcal
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Fat: 63.63g | Prot: 98.08g | Carb: 120.01g.
Breakfast: Great Value 2% Reduced Fat Milk, Post Honey-Comb Cereal, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer. Lunch: Happy Farms Shredded Mild Cheddar Cheese, Sugardale Center Slice Smoked Ham, Egg White, Egg. Dinner: Greek 100 Yogurt - mixed berry, Kangaroo Whole Wheat with Honey Pita Pocket Bread, StarKist Foods Tuna Salad Sandwich-Ready - Chunk Light. Snacks/Other: Southern Grove Trail Mix Mountain Mix, EAS AdvantEDGE Carb Control Shake - Chocolate Fudge. more...
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 Comments
Congratulations on getting that 100% and doing better than anyone else in the class twice!! Awesome! Yes, that is a lot of stress for so many things, but you will prevail! You already did great with losing weight, you can do anything! Be proud someone, or some people, are jealous of you and your life! You must be doing something right! :) Sounds like you have a plan to keep your previous bad habits away. Go for it!
27 Aug 14 by member: kattay
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You are an amazing person, no wonder people are jealous of you. You are juggling school and getting great results on your test, work, losing weight and kids. Not many people could do that successfully. People probably think that everything comes easy for you because you don't complain. You are happy with what you got and that is a good thing.
27 Aug 14 by member: snezica
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I understand your situation. I would never want anyone to be jealous of my life because what they see is only what I allow them to see. Some people will never know the whole true story! And yes, I have longevity in my marriage, my house will be paid off next year, I graduated twice from college with a 4.0 GPA Summa Cum Laude and I did it being wife, mother, and a full-time employee. It doesn't come easy, it's called HARD WORK AND THE GUMPTION TO GET IT DONE. And that's how we should tackle our weight loss journeys! So keep at it and you will make it through!
27 Aug 14 by member: BeckyBaby65too
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You're giving way too much control over your emotions to someone else. They are the one with the problem. Just tell that little eight year old that you are as rich as rich can be, because you have a wonderful home and family, and he will someday as well, if he studies hard in school and cares about others. Let him go home and tell his mom that.
27 Aug 14 by member: DairyKing
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Also did the ALS Ice bucket challenge. One of my friends I challenged also did it...good sport. The wife of a second challenger said they refused to give to ALS because they use fetal remains for their testing....huh! I didn't go there and in my head felt she kind of threw cold water on the challenge. I just wanted to see her husband dump a bucket of ice water on his head. Anyways...sometimes you just never know what you're going to get back with these things.
I feel your stress about the comments. I was a straight A student in school and college and after getting two degrees High Honors I always remember people saying it was easy for me because I was smart. Well it was actually 20% smart and 80% stinking hard work. The people saying this crap were just lazy and not even trying.
27 Aug 14 by member: 2 Big 2 Fail
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It's great to see a nice, long, Yolanda post. I've been wondering how you've been doing with the new routines that are put on you. Hang in there. People are always going to try to dismiss their own weaknesses in the shadow of another's success in an envious tone. It's easier to say that someone else is 'lucky' or 'privileged' in some way rather than to look internally and see what challenges it would take to accomplish their goals. You've worked hard...hang your hat on that.
27 Aug 14 by member: mgrill
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I've read 'jealousy means you're doing it right' but when it's people like us.. and I write 'us' because you and I share many similar traits, it messes with our guilt complex. And you're right.. for that kid to have said that he heard it elsewhere... sometimes even MY grandson will say something and at 15 I know HE heard it elsewhere because it's not something he'd even notice. All of this is leading to you making bad choices w/the eating... stress, anxiety, etc. TRY to let it go. I know you're probably exercising plenty and very active but I've read this several times on your journal lately and I want you to forgive yourself for them and move on. You are a wonderful woman, wife, mother, worker, and friend. Treat yourself just as kind, or kinder, than you would all of those others around you. People will be jealous, spiteful, mean, whatever they need to be... that's their issue, not yours. You're fantastic and anyone who doesn't think so .. send 'em to me and I'll sort 'em out.
27 Aug 14 by member: FullaBella
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They just want what you have, that's all. You have your s*** together, and they just haven't learned that you have to work hard in order to be successful in life. Like you said, don't give it a second thought, they will get it one day. Good luck tomorrow, and BTW fantastic job on your test !!!!!!
27 Aug 14 by member: SherrieC
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It's not your problem if people are jealous of you, it's theirs. You are doing the best you can and working hard, so you should be proud of yourself. And having a hubby who loves and supports you just shows you were smart when you chose him and you guys have worked hard at keeping that relationship going. You are an awesome woman and amaze me every day. Now, get those kids to school and get to the gym! :) I need to take that advice too.
27 Aug 14 by member: mars2kids
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Yeah, I have had similar experiences at various times in my life. It makes you feel partially guilty and the other part angry. We work hard to get good grades, and I knew students when I was in nursing school that went to the casino every chance they got and drank/gambled WAY too much. That's not exactly a ticket to success! When it comes to relationships, some of it is picking a great guy to start with, but the rest is just plain hard work! Some people aren't willing to compromise and really want to call all the shots. Not all people, obviously, get divorced due to laziness. I would never want to imply that, but we do live in a society that has a tendency to take the easy way out. Be proud of yourself and just ignore all the jealousy. Life is too short to let other people have such a huge effect on our thoughts and emotions. Easier said than done, I know. Good luck!
27 Aug 14 by member: gilliansings
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I totally could have written this same journal. Well, minus the 100% test grade. I'm rocking an 83% right now. Bleh. Anyway....we will get on track! I have faith in both of us. I wouldn't worry about the envious friends. You're happy, successful and are surrounded with a husband and kids who love you. What isn't to envy about that? I'm proud of you with school. Keep on swimmin'
01 Sep 14 by member: 2ManyCurves
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