r3vegan's Journal, 03 May 2015

I have been at this for too long. This battle of back and forth. I want to blame everyone, everything except myself. I need to take 100% responsibilty for my body and what I eat and dont eat. I keep trying to keep myself from having or doing things until I lose weight. I even told my boyfriend that I wont accept any proposal until Im thin. its getting out of control. im going to end up even more miserable than I already am. For some reason I think my life will magically become amazing If I lose weight. I've heard from so many that it wont be any different then now. but I've been so close and I was insanely happy. I just need to get my ducks in a row and realize how much better getting this weight off woudld make my life.