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So it has been a while since my last journal entry, and a lot is happening/has happened, which makes me feel the need to write more than ever!
I had some rather serious intestinal issues for most of the last week, which made me miserable, uncomfortable, nervous, stressed, scared and just plain upset! I had to follow the BRAT diet (Bananas, White Rice, Applesauce, White Toast) in order to get my insides back in proper working order, but it was a total mind-fuck, since I am a bit of a Nazi about only eating brown or wild rice, and whole grain bread. As counter-intuitive as it felt, the bland diet cleared up the issue within two days, and I was able to eat everything on the table at Easter dinner. As can be expected, Easter Sunday was a day full of rich foods and chocolates and cupcakes and jelly beans, etc. I am of the school of thought that allows a certain amount of indulgence on holidays, as long as that indulgence is limited. I make a clear distinction in my mind between indulging in delicious foods on special occasions, and bingeing on garbage for the wrong reasons. That being said, I don't feel a speck of guilt about what I ate yesterday. I do feel terrible about not exercising at all last week. I've started to get fed up with running, it stopped being fun and started feeling like one more chore that I HAD to do. I would like to go back to what I used to do, walking or cycling for cardio, and focusing more on toning exercises. I had amazing weight loss results and more noticeable changes in the composition of my body, when following that type of program.
Aside from those things, I have been stressed lately, after learning that my hubby most likely won't be able to come to Canada with me this summer for my sister's wedding. We were so excited for him to see where I grew up, meet all of my family, and he was also supposed to photograph the wedding. So not only am I disappointed, I feel that we're letting my sister down, although she insists that she isn't upset. It may seem fickle, but I am also slightly embarrassed that I'll be dateless at my sister's wedding. Another stress factor in my life is school, at the moment I'm only taking one class, a Saturday morning yoga class, which is pretty easy to handle. But this week I'll be registering for summer class, most likely a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday math class that runs from 5:30 to 9:30pm. Considering that I work full-time (Monday to Friday, 7:45am to 4pm or later), I get exhausted just thinking about it all. When will I eat dinner? When will I do homework and assignments? How will I have any time to exercise or just relax and take care of myself? How much time will be spent each weekend on chores that can no longer be done during the week? How will I maintain my relationship with such a busy schedule? HOW WILL I NOT LOSE MY MIND? These are just a few of the questions that plague me, and it doesn't seem to matter that I won't actually start this class until summer...I just can't stop worrying about it! I'll also be preparing for my trip to Canada, getting my bridesmaid dress altered, getting all of the necessary accessories and accoutrements, scheduling my time there, booking car rental and hotel rooms or figuring out whose house to stay at. On top of that, I'm planning to look for a new job once I return, since I find myself very overworked and VERY underpayed (taking care of an almost 2-year-old and making less than minimum wage). And on top of THAT, we are planning to move out of the in-laws house by the end of the year, which will require us both to make more money (since my hubby is also making less money than he is worth, and than he has made for the past 8-ish years...got to love this damn recession!).
There are probably a gazillion more things I could write about if I had the time, but I'll just have to leave them for tomorrow. Although these issues still weigh on me, I haven't really talked about them and it's a relief to get them off my chest and on 'paper'. I need to remind myself that I have taken a lot on, and it is to be expected that I'll feel overwhelmed once in a while. I must make use of the stress management tools that I have, like yoga and journaling, and maybe the occasional mani/pedi or massage!Here's to a step in the right direction!
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