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Struggling......this winter weather is not helping me make good choices. I just want mashed potatoes and gravy, macaroni and cheese.... while in and of themselves, not bad, but not great and the bigger problem I want lots of them.
A sneaky thing has happened during my recovery....wow! I'm still losing weight and I'm not trying....how much more can I eat....this much?....this much?....well now the weight loss has stopped and I've even been gaining a little...as I write this I realize it's time to start tracking again. I had let that go to give me time to focus on my recovery and not stress me out. Plus I knew in the beginning there would be a lot of meals made for me that I had no control over....
I'm mad at myself that I've let myself get here...I had made such good and positive changes and they were really sticking...but once I thought it was ok to have a little more, that was the slippery slope.
Have a follow-up with the surgeon on Monday. They will test the strength and stability of the graft at that time...we'll see. Have about 6 more weeks of therapy left, that is giving me some exercise. I've got to get that worked back in too. My body just is fighting me, I still get exhausted pretty easily, although I'm seeing improvements in that. But you just hit a wall that you don't know is coming and you can't push beyond it. FRUSTRATING! Every so often I think my 7yr old son may have had a good idea when he said, "Mom, why don't they just cut off your leg and give you a robotic one." At the time I thought, NO, what they're doing is bad enough. Somehow, that almost seems like it would have been easier....
So glad to see the continued success of my buddies. It's so inspiring to see the progress each of you is making. It's the encouragement I need to keep pushing through this...thanks.
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