inhisimage's Journal, 03 August 2012

My weight has been yo-yoing for the last couple of years. I woke up yesterday and weighed myself. I had gained 2lbs. I was bummed. As I drove to the bank I wondered why I wasn’t losing any weight. Than I was hit with the truth, I was not taking my weight loss seriously. My house is a carb conscious person’s paradise, yet instead of satisfying my cravings with carb friendly foods I would throw caution to the wind and eat whatever was in sight. I would eat cookies or have wine and rationalize it by saying that it was low carb or by telling myself I had been “good” all day and deserved a treat. I was lying to myself. The truth of the matter is I am afraid. I have spent the better part of my adulthood in this fat suit. I am not sure what life will be like on the other side of healthy. This lack of knowledge makes me anxious. I put on the fat suit to hide the shame I carried from my childhood abuse. I have decided to take back my life and to not allow my abuser to win. I made a decision to give myself a chance to be successful. Yesterday I stayed within my carb allowance for the first time since I started my low carb lifestyle. I am still a little scared but I am going to face my fears and give health a chance.