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So, basically what I've been doing is calorie restriction contained to 6 days per week with Sundays off. It's what works for me, and that's what's key, right? I'm faithful, 6 days a week, to record/log every bite that goes into my mouth and to stay within my allotted calorie range. My flexibility comes from the fact that I allow myself to *average* my daily allotment over those 6 days. As long as my total calories Monday - Saturday do not exceed 8400 (1400 per day, but I've lowered this during Lent to a total of 7500--avg of 1250 per day), I'm in compliance.
As I said, this is working for me. I really do think that I'm a food addict/lover extreme, so having a very strict framework is important to my long-term, rest-of-my-life health. BUT...
I sooooooo *miss* spontaneously enjoying food. I soooooo *miss* using food to pick me up in the middle of the day. I sooooo *miss* not being able to use food as a reward to myself. I sooooooo *miss* lots of foods that I just don't eat any more, because they just don't FIT with my calorie allotment.
Even though Sundays are my days to indulge, it's just very apparent to me how much I miss using food as a daily companion, a comforter, a recreation, a "high." This was on my mind a lot last night. Probably because late-night snacking always used to be my biggest downfall when it came to eating habits. And also, because I'm probably hormonal right now--which makes me want to eat even more.
It would help if I could find something that would even come *close* to replacing how I felt about food. (And I'm not talking about the celery, cucumber & carrot kind of food.) And, no..."taking a bath" or "going for a run" isn't going to cut it. Oh....if only a stick of sugar-free gum would give me the same amount of pleasure that, say, something bready, cheesy, buttery, greasy, salty, or sweet used to give me.
I know I can't go back to that way of life/eating...There's no way I would want to change my 145 lb self back to my eat-whatever-I-want 215 lb-and-gaining self. But it doesn't mean that I don't miss that kind of food and uninhibited enjoyment of it.
Thank you for the therapy session.
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 Comments
I could have written this...hang in there. You are doing great and do what works for you!
23 Mar 16 by member: iulani
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:) Thanks. That's what I'm doing. Hanging in there. I've been on this path for about a year (with a brief relapse between Easter and June or July before I made this lifetime commitment). There's no end-goal, or "when I'm done" about this. It's just how I'm going to have to be for...forever. And, about 90% of the time, I'm perfectly fine with that and have settled into a pretty comfortable routine with how/what to eat. It's that darned other 10% of the time that is such a downer!
23 Mar 16 by member: dbdmom
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I totally get what you wrote and, like you, I do not want to go back either! Using food to mood-alter is the issue, like any addiction, so we have to allow the real feelings and just keep moving ahead, right? Have a great day!
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23 Mar 16 by member: dbdmom
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Absolutely the truth stated so beautifully! I too wish I could be like the "normal" people who never do things in excess. I guess God made me have super good taste buds! For now, strong breath mints have todo the trick. I'm motivated by your exceptional weight loss. People like you give people like me hope!
23 Mar 16 by member: smartygirlCA
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Oh boy, I am right there with you. Don't know what's going on and haven't really been able to put it into words. I'm bored/dissatisfied/craving. I don't want to go back to old 275lb eating BUT I feel like I'm flailing about... on the verge of a binge (tipped over into one once already) and don't know why. I would like to lose another 10lbs but am also ok with where I'm at. Sometimes I think it was the challenge of having to lose all that weight that kept me going. Now since I feel "ok" the challenge is gone. When I read your post it reminded me of the willy wonka movie where violet eats that gum that tastes like the yummy meal, complete with dessert. Now that would be an awesome invention for someone to come up with! Good Luck!
23 Mar 16 by member: Rckc
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Oh, if only such a gum existed, Rckc--without any of the meal-sized/dessert-sized calories, of course!
23 Mar 16 by member: dbdmom
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Calorie restriction is just number counting, it has no biological relevance to how the body selectively treats each nutrient you consume (not all calories are turned into fat). It's just like weighing yourself everyday and letting scale numbers determine your mood for the day/week. The human body is more complex than a term used often in general physics or numbers on a scale and then parroted on the internet by plebs who know nothing about human biology. Your body functions on hormones, and the hormone that makes bodyfat is insulin, but insulin isn't require for you to make bodyfat since 100% of fructose sugar (the sugar that activates your sweet tooth) turns directly into fat without insulin's assistance. At least 90% of glucose turns into glycogen for muscles and any excess goes to adipose cells in the subcutaneous layer of the skin to be turned into fat, fructose is the sugar that turns into harmful visceral fat and suffocates your internal organs. As long as you minimize the frequency of insulin spikes per day and avoid fructose sugar, you'll control how much bodyfat you acquire on a daily basis. Here's a great book explaining why calorie counting is an inefficient way to lose weight/bodyfat: The Calorie Fallacy: Stop Dieting and Start Nourishing by Dr. Libby. http://goo.gl/2aiVUy
23 Mar 16 by member: Bcoulal
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I don't count calories, ever. You know what I hate doing worse than calorie counting? Exercise. I've lost 45 lbs this year alone and have yet to step inside a gym. So far it's been 100% diet. Some days I eat 1200 calories, some days I eat 2,500-4,000 calories, but it's not the amount of calories that matters, it's what "form" of calories you eat. Since I'm on a LCHF diet, I can eat 3,000-4,000 calories a day and not gain any excess bodyfat, because I'm not eating much carbs or any sweet food, I'm no longer refueling my addiction to carbs. I normally don't have a sweet tooth anyways so sweets don't appeal to me much, but in the past I'll scarf down an entire 12" thick crust meat lovers pizza all on my own. I'll eat until I can't breathe almost every day, now that's a serious carb addict right there. Not anymore though, I've been reformed, renewed, turned a new leaf, learned my lesson, and see the bigger picture in Ultra High Definition.
23 Mar 16 by member: Bcoulal
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I say, the proof is in the pudding. If it works, it works! You've found somthing that's agreable with you, I say stick with it.
23 Mar 16 by member: NowIunderstand
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Bcoulal--I do it because it works for me. I'm also insulin resistant, and I've long-since known that I have "blood sugar issues." I know that I have to eat protein and some fat with every meal and keep the carbs to a minimum. Which I do. With my calorie restriction, and knowing that I have to have protein and allow myself some fat, there just isn't a lot of room left over for carbs with the exception of low-startch/low-glycemic veggies and fruits. I have almost completely eliminated breads and sugars from my daily food consumption, because...they have a lot of calories and they cannot take the place of my much-needed protein and healthy fats. You're right...it is number counting, but for me, it's the clearest/easiest way for me to set limits to my food consumption, which was really my biggest problem. Consuming too much of anything (protein included) can cause your insulin to spike. So--no worries. I'm making healthy choices for this ol' bod. My calorie counting doesn't mean that my diet consists of 6 candy bars per day and that I'm calling that good. I can't eat a poptart for breakfast, because I'd have the sugar-shakes within 45 minutes of having eaten it, and I'd feel like crud the whole rest of the day. I can't have even one slice of real pizza, because it sends me into a feeding frenzy for the next 48 hours where I cannot achieve satiety no matter what I eat after that. Sundays are simply my day off to not measure, not count, not calculate, not log and just enjoy being. And when I enjoy too much of the wrong things...I can really really tell, physically. Before I started eating this way, though, I was just over-indulging throughout each day, every day. All the time. I think I'm on a better track these days.
23 Mar 16 by member: dbdmom
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I was once insulin resistant until I realized it was fructose sugar that initially messed up my body's hormone system, then from there it was a chain-reaction, it even turned glucose, the good sugar, against me. Overindulgence, yep, I can relate with you on that. Like said, I'd eat carbs until I couldn't breathe at almost every meal, which was a littler more extreme than most. Yeah, if you eat too much protein on the keto diet, you can get knocked out of ketosis, which is why you shouldn't eat more than your lean body mass in protein per day. For example, my lean body mass is around 180lbs and I have 14.2% bodyfat, so no point in eating more than 180 grams of protein a day unless you're in the gym 5-6 days a week lifting for 3 hours straight each day.
23 Mar 16 by member: Bcoulal
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Love this journal! I'm with you in that I love food and the taste of some things and how it is better to skip those things instead of risking the weight gain. Continue doing what works for you! And thank-you for the therapy session too!
23 Mar 16 by member: aggie95
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It is a process, and sometimes there is some grieving that has to be done in the process. I am not in a constant state of grief over all the deliciously decadent food-like substances, but I definitely have my moments when I mourn the loss/lack of them in my life.
24 Mar 16 by member: dbdmom
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Btw, Draglist--awesome job getting to your goal and maintaining!
24 Mar 16 by member: dbdmom
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Just offering a different take on things, I love to ski and do other recreational sports. To really enjoy them I need to be able to move freely, with both strength and endurance....so I do train for those sports and as a byproduct I can do other lifetime activities (hiking, Snorkeling, kayaking, walking with our kids and dogs, etc), without having to worry about getting out of breath or getting my heart rate up. I have added some fat burning training over the last 5 months and not only has it burned off some fat from some "stubborn" areas it has increased my long term high energy output endurance and recovery heart rate numbers, very cool!! Summary; for sure you don't have to lift weights, walk, bike, dance or do cardio workouts to lose fat, it sure doesn't hurt though and there are a lot of other benefits too. Take care all and have a great day, I'm going out right now to ski some Rocky Mountain powder, yippee!!
24 Mar 16 by member: Steven Lloyd
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