"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Good morning everyone!!! I am so full of joy this morning! I know that God has a plan for me, He knows where He is leading me. Its a long, hard road at times, but I know that in the end, He will watch over me. Yes, God lets bad things happen, He lets us suffer, be scared, be uncertain...just as your parents (or you, if you have kids) did when you were learning to walk. They watched, let you fall, let you be nervous because you had to learn. You had to venture out and trust that, should you fall, they would be there to help you up, but you had to learn that falls are going to happen.
Just like with life, weight loss is a learning experience. I have fallen at times, I have let myself eat things that I knew I shouldnt. I have given in to temptation and gained weight. Am I going to throw in the towel? Give up and say "I will never lose the weight!" I keep pressing forward, I keep pushing myself. There are days I want to give up, days I feel fat and gross, but then I look at pictures of when I was 505lbs. I have lost an entire grown adult, I have lost 160lbs. Thats a good size adult worth of weight that I have lost. And thats when I know that I can keep going. I can get through those moments of weakness, those moments where I feel like a failure. I am climbing my mountain, and every single step forward is one less I have to take.
So I am moving into my own apartment next week! I am so exited. My mom is giving me her desktop computer, so I will be able to post more on here again! I am going to try to post daily, like I was before, because it was so helpful to be able to air out my frustrations and get the support from people who truly understand what it is like to be on a weightloss journey. Its so mental, there is so much that people do not tell you, and its nice to have others who are there with me. So, beyond just having my own space, I am excited to engage with all of you again. I am also going to set up the 3rd bedroom as a home gym type room with my stationary bike and eliptical. I will either get up early and work out, or I will do it for an hour or so when I get home. I havent decided. BUT...I can actually see the apartment from my window at work, so I am going to start walking to and from work, which will be really helpful. This weight loss is going to take off once I get in my own place, and I am so excited to see where we are headed!!
I couldnt sleep last night, so I prayed and thanked God for everything. I have been so bitter and angry, I have been feeling lost and alone. There are still times I feel that way, but I have started really just praising Him in my prayers now. Instead of begging for help, I am saying "Thank you God, for giving me a chance to learn and grow" I am having to learn to be joyful in trials, because that is where faith comes from. I lost my faith for a bit, I lost who I was and I felt broken. A huge part of who I am is in my relationship with God. He is my father, He is my protector, my savior. I just have to stop relying on me...I need to rely on Him. I will send a prayer up for all of us, to persevere through the trials of life. I pray that God reaches out to you all, giving you hope, and strength. Just remember, weeping endures for the night, but JOY comes in the morning. Amen!!!
I hope you all have a wonderful day!! Sending all my love and support!!!
