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ONE BAD DAY! Sometimes, all you need is one bad day to throw in the towel, and for me today was that day! What my husband told me about that Superintendent, that is running our school, here in the rural, midwest. You would think that in a small community like this that those things don't happen, well, you would have to think again. I was more hungrier than usual with a day like today so I tried to fill up on more protein, till I got to the ice cream, then I went over board but I did estimate! As my husband talked, I ate, and I ate, and I ate. The more angrier, and disgusted that I would get, with this superintendent the more I ate! If it was bread at least I would have had to swallow harder, but being I ice cream that it was, well, it just slipped down my throat, without much effort, and before you know it, I had eaten way too much, even with the fact that I did estimate! The amount, it was still too much! Usually, I have to push myself to eat more calories, but today was not that kind of a day! The worst yet is that I am not moving either.
I keep telling myself how can I give up? I keep telling everyone to keep going! And believe me it is not easy. I guess when you have something eating at you inside, it is not easy, but yet, if I get too upset I do not want to eat either?! Weird?! Hummm?..... I am one who has a strange combination. I have my rituals as well, and all this becomes more than bearable, yet, still, I am determined to keep going!
The problem is that you have to eat cause if you do not eat enough, the body won't let go either, and you will gain weight as well, cause it thinks it is going into starvation mode. What does a person do when life spits at you more than you had planned on for that day? It seems like your being hit from many different directions. How can you still focus on yourself and what you must do and accomplish in this life? Even so called simple things as weight loss!
My uncle Jimmy, as I called him, Theo Mimi, he had told me I must give strength to my husband, then I thought who is going to give strength to me? Where is that spiritual strength that I am needing? It is so very hard to find for ones self!? For with the "Spirits Strength" "You can move mountains"!
Tomorrow is ANOTHER DAY, and with it will come a fresh day to start all over again! And somehow, some way or another, will come more strength, than perhaps the day that had just finished! We never know what's waiting for us around that corner, so we have no choice BUT to "KEEP GOING!" Take care, to all my friends! Make tomorrow a better DAY!
Diet Calendar Entry for 19 May 2010:
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2705 kcal
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Fat: 105.97g | Prot: 116.48g | Carb: 337.31g.
Breakfast: milk, Castleton Salisbury Steak, bread. Lunch: Zen Garden frozen vegetables, baked turkey breast, Castleton Salisbury Steak (cafeteria kind-patties). Dinner: Castleton Salisbury Steak, Italian Bread. Snacks/Other: Double Churn Light Rocky Road Ice Cream, snickers fun size chocolate, granny smith apple, snickers mini ice cream bar. more...
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