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25 March 2016

Dear Lake Trail in Tribble Mill Park,
In case I forget to say it, “THANK YOU.” Thank you for always ‘being there’ for me. Thank you for being that rare friend who doesn’t judge or passive-aggressively punish/admonish me for the lengthy intervals between my visits – only caring that I do visit. For freely and joyously extending all your ‘gifts’ to me whether I’m in my cutest jogging outfit or mismatched shorts with a ratty t-shirt barely fit for use as a car wash cloth. For not giving a whit about the logo on the side of my athletic shoes; and, more importantly, truly not noticing or caring how many pounds those shoes are supporting with every step. And for not keeping track nor making note of the pace of those footsteps – just being grateful that they are present.

Thank you for the ‘lessons’ you’ve taught me over these last few months:
1) For teaching me to not be so focused on the ‘ends’ as to fail to appreciate the ‘means’ – in your case, the view along the way.
2) For placing obstacles (tree roots, fallen logs, rocky surfaces and even the occasional pile of horse hockey!) in my path to remind me to be ‘mindful’ and ‘present’ in ALL of my ‘steps’ along this journey (especially of the food I choose to fuel my visits with you).
3) For allowing me to cross paths (literally) with other individuals who represent different versions of me at different points in my journey . . . individuals who remind me of how far I’ve come and others who demonstrate how far I’ve left to go.
4) For being located at a proximity and distance that requires some amount of scheduling above and beyond mere ‘motivation’ to reinforce the critical role that planning plays in this journey.
5) For reminding me to separate what I CAN control (e.g., my responses/reaction to stress) from what I can’t (the weather).
6) When those ‘X’ factors (such as a pop-up shower) do arise, for reminding me to identify the silver linings: e.g., instead of cursing soggy, muddy shoes, appreciating nature’s way of providing me with a refreshing ‘cool-down’ without incurring the cost of running the A/C.
7) When those ‘X’ factors prevent a visit, reminding me to follow Confucius and adjust my action steps to goal vs. adjusting the goal itself.

See you again soon (after you’ve had ample time to ‘dry out’),

21 March 2016

Are You There, FS? It’s Me, LosinIt.
(That’s a nod to author Judy Blume for any FSers who weren’t a preteen girl in the late 70s/early 80s.)
First and foremost, let me say I’m SO sorry that I abruptly ‘ghosted’ my FS Buddies and fellow Sassies – I’m sorry for not being here to celebrate your triumphs, support you during your struggles and otherwise encourage you on your respective journeys.
The Prodigal Daughter is back – in fact, much ‘more’ of me is back. Remember that 80s Cher commercial for Holiday Fitness Centers? “Don’t you just hate the holidays? Couple of weeks of partying . . . even your ankles got fat.” Yep, that’s me – just tack on another 10 weeks or so of a return to poor eating habits and very little exercise.
I’m giving this FS Journal 2 titles: The Perfect Storm and The Weight of Words
The Perfect Storm
December 20th: Personal Training sessions conclude
December 24-Jan. 1: Christmas Eve through New Year’s – ‘nuf said (see Cher quote above)
January: Project I took over managing in mid-October hits DEFCON 3 (and climbing)
Jan. 19-Feb. 22: Three business trips (including a coast-to-coaster) in ~4 weeks.
Jan. 28: In between road trips, my senior dog cuts one of his pads during our daily walk. Given his age, vet and I agree to go the more conservative route of letting it heal on its own (vs. anesthesia for a few stitches) which means NO daily walks for ~3 weeks.
Feb. 23 – Mar. 6: Three family birthday celebrations
But it’s much too convenient and easy to suggest that these things somehow ‘conspired’ against me to derail my efforts to eat healthy and exercise. One of my business trips included an address from Seal Team 6 member Rob O’Neill (Bin Laden’s shooter) and he reminded me that stress is not something that happens to you – stress is how you CHOOSE TO REACT to a situation or environment. That leads me to . . .
The Weight of Words
12 personal training sessions should be enough for me to replicate a strength workout on my own – no need to order and pay for more sessions.
(+5 lbs. fat; -2 lbs. muscle)
Work is so busy and stressful that I just don’t have the time to log and track on FS right now (or exercise as frequently). No biggie -- even though I’m not yet at my initial goal weight, I feel pretty good about my current size/shape . . . I’ve been doing this (healthier eating + regular exercise) for nearly 6 months; surely I can loosen the reins a little and still maintain my weight with a slightly less stringent routine.
(+ 10 lbs. fat; -1 lbs. muscle)
You look like you’ve gained some of the weight back – you said you weren’t going to do that.
-- Mom (ouch -- +2 lbs. fat)
Yep, I am officially a 95%er who’s ‘reacquired’ previously shed pounds and inches. Work circumstances haven’t changed considerably, but rather I’m working on changing my attitude and ‘coping mechanisms.’ You know, it’s funny (in a pathetic kind of way) . . . I regard myself as a fairly intelligent, methodical thinker (I was a Philosophy major after all!) There I was, diligently recording every morsel, finding my macro ‘sweet spot,’ eating more whole foods and limiting carbage, routinely scheduling near daily exercise (whether cardio or strength), wearing smaller clothes, seeing early signs of tone and definition (or at least less flab and ‘squish’), having more energy and even experiencing some good results by tinkering with intermittent fasting. In other words, things were moving along swimmingly and then I had to go and pretty much consciously ‘eff’ things up . . . as Spock would say, “Illogical, Captain.”
But I’m back – or at least taking the first steps at getting back and employing my rational brain by reminding myself that I know what to do; and, even more importantly, know that I CAN do it because it’s been done before (with a little help from my FS Buddies). Current Plan of Action:
1) Return to daily tracking on FS – record weekly Journals or more frequently as needed
2) Weigh DAILY (but record weekly)
3) No matter how busy or how much work to be done, MAKE/SCHEDULE time for exercise (even if just a walk with the dog)
4) Take food tracking to the ‘next level’ using recently purchased food scale when appropriate
Weigh-in: 158.4 lb lost so far: 38.6 lb still to go: 31.4 lb Diet followed poorly
   (14 comments) on diet losinit1655's own diet   gaining 1.8 lb a week

18 January 2016

Weigh-in: 141.8 lb lost so far: 55.2 lb still to go: 14.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (5 comments) on diet losinit1655's own diet   losing 4.7 lb a week

12 January 2016

Weigh-in: 145.8 lb lost so far: 51.2 lb still to go: 18.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (14 comments) on diet losinit1655's own diet   losing 2.6 lb a week

10 January 2016

So I had made up my mind a couple of days ago that I was NOT going to record a Journal on my usual weigh-in day (Mondays) because I don't want my introspection on this journey to hinge upon a scale readout (most of us here are 'veteran' enough to know it goes well beyond the Idiot Box). Not to mention I'm a Philosophy major so I should be so much 'better' (or at least, 'deeper') than that. In total transparency, I'm already anticipating tomorrow's outcome to be a complete and utter but unsurprising disappointment as I've strayed so far from my path of late that I'm deep in enemy territory (as in 'my own worst enemy') and in need of extraction by Special Forces.

But I was hesitant to put 'pen to paper' here and now because I HATE being a 'downer' -- I'd so much rather be a 'bad ass pillar of strength' (thanks Pterath) and someone whose successful journey (such as those of Darkazana or Wholefoodnut or lettygaylor or izzypup) others could draw inspiration from. However, I can't deny that I'm in desperate need of inspiration at the moment -- the one who needs to recapture the elusive drive and motivation that existed in the bad ass who was hoisting her 40-lbs. heavier fat ass over a chain link fence just to jog on a local high school track this summer.

Arguing with myself using reason and logic, purchasing well-fitting single-digit-sized clothes, kicking myself in the ass for relapsing, continuing to weigh-in and 'share' on FS, following other FS Buddies' success -- NONE of these methods and responses are working for me at the moment.

However, I may have run across a glimmer of hope and the proper perspective plus spark that I need. A grander scheme/bigger picture, if you will. I just read a story in today's local paper that featured a local young man with Down syndrome who graduated from high school (where he was elected Homecoming King), completed a program @ Clemson for students with special-needs and currently serves as an equipment manager for their football team. (He's presently in Glendale for tomorrow night's championship game, but forced to watch from the stands as sideline passes were limited.) In the article, his father described him as always being a 'joy bringer.' I just love that! Now THERE's a worthy New Year's Resolution if I ever heard one -- I want to always be a joy-bringer, too; not only to others, of course, but also to myself. And it's much more difficult for me to be 'joyful' when I'm overeating, not exercising and not tracking my intake. I need to make this about more than just losing pounds and inches and fitting in smaller clothes and matching some decades-old number on my driver's license -- it's also got to be about me being the 'best version' of myself.

Here's to more joy and more joy-bringing in 2016!

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