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18 April 2016

I am removing the clothes that no longer fit out of my closet, it is depressing. I have let my weight jut ballon, I have gained 30lbs since my wedding in July ...amazing . I am ashamed of myself, but I will take this as a catalyst for change I will force myself to record my calories, exercise and my mindset. I will force myself to write out why I feel like I am deserving of eating things that I know will cause my body harm. I won't drive without a seatbelt but the way I eat is like jumping off a cliff everyday, Im lucky my parachute is still functional
yesterday I ate an
orange
pizza
garlic rolls
salad with protein dressing everywhere
ice cream sundae with a brownie
oatmeal
pb&J
WTF thats gross an I need to change, I would like to have a child but to have one at this weight Im scared with age would lead me towards pre eclampsia .

16 August 2015

Weigh-in: 230.0 lb lost so far: 24.0 lb still to go: 90.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) on diet Lacto-Ovo-Pesce-Vegetarian Diet   gaining 0.3 lb a week

30 January 2014

Weigh-in: 205.0 lb lost so far: 49.0 lb still to go: 65.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Lacto-Ovo-Pesce-Vegetarian Diet   losing 2.6 lb a week

06 January 2014

Weigh-in: 214.0 lb lost so far: 40.0 lb still to go: 74.0 lb Diet followed poorly
   (1 comment) on diet Lacto-Ovo-Pesce-Vegetarian Diet   gaining 1.4 lb a week

21 December 2013

So exhausted with myself I feel as if I'm about to combust, trying a new hairstyle, and new make up look I thought I looked great, felt fabulous even took a couple pictures, feel like I'm hitting a weight loss stride, the moment my bf sees me he yells "ahhhhhh" so suddenly I feel like a complete ugly fat misguided mess. I felt so good and that feeling is gone, he said my make up looked to white but I know it was my hair, already he lamented about the shrinkage of my breast with the weighloss...I just want to know why this criticism hurts me to my core I immediately put my hair back and changed lip color and put on darker color powder. What will I be happy in happy enough so criticism won't hurt me. But instead I hear everything, remember everything, and in turn feel at fault for everything. Sorry to journal this but I needed to get it out.

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