psylina's Journal, 16 January 2013

Had a really hard day yesterday - it was my gran's very sad and also a really long day - out of the house early, back home very late so no exercise and I overate a lot (stupid buffet) cos I just felt so sad.

Back at work today and feeling terrible. Very sad and the size of a house, job situ looks worse as well as I realise that the job decsription they have released for my current job which I have to apply for (3 of us, 1 post) has 2 essential requirments that i don't have but the others do. Packed a small-ish lunch but am worried I will binge tonight as I just feel so sad and I usually turn to food then - especially as I feel fat and like I'm never going to lose any weight anyway.

I always find it very hard to work out when I feel low, so it will be a struggle to do anything today.

Looking forward to fast day tomorrow but scared I won't be able to stick to it.

Sorry for being so down guys. :(

Diet Calendar Entry for 16 January 2013:
2072 kcal Activities & Exercise: Weight Training (moderate) - 1 hour, Running - 7/mph - 37 minutes, Bicycling (slow) - 11/mph - 50 minutes, Resting - 13 hours and 33 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet psylina's own diet  


I think you've got every reason. It's really hard to deal with dieting on top of the levels of stress you must be feeling right now. Just take each meal as it comes. 
16 Jan 13 by member: riocaz
Sorry for your loss. Too many friends losing people they've cared about. Hope you have a better day today. Give yourself time to get back on track when you are feeling better. In the meantime a nice walk might actually relieve some stress. Checking on you tomorrow. 
16 Jan 13 by member: BeckyBaby65
went for a run at lunchtime, usually helps me to feel better but the sight of me in lycra just made me feel :( doing my best to eat my lunch sensibly and not binge or starve. 
16 Jan 13 by member: psylina
Just being nosy... How tall are you? I'm 5'2" and would absolutely love to be 112. Actually no I wouldn't I've seen pics of myself at 115 and I was so thin I looked sickly. At 5'2" my appropriate weight range is 101 to 136. I'm shooting for 135 eventually for two reasons. #1 Like I said before I looked unhealthy at 115 so I wouldn't want to go there and anywhere less than that. #2 Since I'm so heavy I'm hoping for around the top of my range (easier to get to and best I can hope for). Are you just having image problems of yourself in certain parts of your body? I guess people wear their weight differently but I'm sure at your weight you probably look FANTASTIC! Don't be so hard on yourself and I admire you for going for your lunch time run! Keep up the good work! 
16 Jan 13 by member: BeckyBaby65
Im a shade under 5th 2, 5ft 1.5 
16 Jan 13 by member: psylina
I go to the doctor next month and I am going to be curious how tall they measure me. I'm waaaay past that age when shrinking starts. 
16 Jan 13 by member: BeckyBaby65
Yes I worry about that in the future, theres not much of a shrinking 'cushion'! 
16 Jan 13 by member: psylina
Managed gym session and a tiny dinner. Cos I didnt eat all the rice there is some left for tomorrow and my fast which I will eat with some steamed lettuce which I love. Part of me would like to do alternate day fasting now but I dont think I could keep my exercise levels up and I dont know how it would work with my partner and step-son at the weekend. Perhaps I could go to three days... 
16 Jan 13 by member: psylina


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