|
Happy Monday FS friends
Crazy stress filled week just passed. My regular visitor (an alcoholic ex) was here last week when he came down with a chest infection (again). 2 years ago, same thing except that the chest infection led to a heart attack on that occassion. Needless to say, off to emerg we went as I had concerns about a repeat. Temperature was spiking, he couldn't breathe. Spent the day in emerg, got meds and puffers and he has been in bed most of the time since. I am stressed out (and pissed off). He still can't breathe well, but decided that having several cigarettes would be a good idea. I'm pooped, not sleeping well. Have come to the conclusion that despite my willingness to help, at the end of the day, his decisions are his alone. Nothing for me to do.
So will carry on, head on outside, find my happy place in the yard (not much left to do other than trim some vines, move a wood pile and plant bulbs when they arrive). Perhaps my mood will lift with some sunshine, crisp fall air, listening to Beatles radio and expending some physical energy.
I just want a good nights sleep. Spending emotional, physical and financial energy on someone that doesn't want to help themselves is sucking me into a black hole. Not a place I want to be or return to ever again. Been there, done that. Funnily enough, in my Food Addiction course we are currently covering codependency. Yup. That's me. Working on freeing myself from perceived obligations to others. Internalising "not my responsibility" is a big shift. One that will take time, acknowlegement and continued effort.
On the good news front, my past self would have eaten (and eaten and eaten) the stress away. My current self had a protein drink instead.
Over and out
|
187.8 lb
Lost so far: 76.2 lb.
Still to go: 47.8 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
|
Diet Calendar Entry for 13 November 2023:
|
1148 kcal
|
Fat: 33.05g | Prot: 110.18g | Carb: 113.80g.
Breakfast: Orgain Organic Protein Plant Based Protein Powder Creamy Chocolate Fudge, GNC Wheybolic Classic Vanilla. Lunch: Clover Leaf Seafoods Flaked Light Tuna Garlic and Hot Pepper, Kraft Creamy Caesar Dressing (15ml), Everything Veggie Salad. Dinner: Minced Garlic, Celery, Onions, Mushrooms, Kirkland Signature Fully Cooked Bacon, Cauliflower, Tostitos Salsa Con Queso, Pork Loin (Tenderloin). Snacks/Other: Iogo 0% Yogurt, Quaker High Protein Instant Oatmeal Maple & Brown Sugar, Apples. more...
|
losing 1.8 lb a week
|
 Comments
I think it's very good the time you took for you outside, taking care or your garden, that mean you taking some time for you ans it's much important, no matter if it's just a couple of minutes, dancing, go take a walk, go take a cup of coffee or an other beverage, that could be at the Drive-thru. It doesn't matter as long as you take time for yourself. If you want to be able to help others, you must first help yourself. For the question of a good night of sleep, have you tried the earplugs, me I use it, because my husband have to use a Bipap machine, and sometimes i'm very tired of the noise, that the machine does, because, if my husband décide to not cutting is bearb, there are air leaks, and that provoking a lot of noises. As I know this machine are vital for him, cause he have some respiratory problems, I use the air plugs, because I want to continue to sleep in the same bed. I dont want to do seperate rooms. I'm a snorer for my part and my husband is supporting me, he's telling me there is no problem, as long I'm next to him. Continue to take some Time for you, you deserve it. 😍🌲🪴🏜️
13 Nov 23 by member: likebread123
|
If I told yo all those things, that's because I'm speaking by experience, because I have a daughter with Borderline problems, ans so many times I have tried to help her without succes and one day, I décide to go on a help centre for the parents who are experiencing some problems with their families on regard to mental health problem, and the person who receiving me that day, told me that phrase: "Miss, you have to help you before thinking of helping your Daughter". (She is already try suicid attempt) and that and this caused me serious mental health problems myself. From that moment, I undertook a very long walk of recovery. I feel better since that and my daughter also, she finished last week, an office cours, and this morning, it's her fisrt day of internship in a community organization.
13 Nov 23 by member: likebread123
|
My ex was an alcoholic too and I can imagine what you are having to go through to stay connected in any way to him. Sent a prayer for both of you.
13 Nov 23 by member: -MorticiaAddams
|
Oh my God. That’s a lot to handle with an ex. Thank The Lord my ex moved to Canada and is ruining someone else’s life now! Can you disengage with him somehow? Way too much stress and responsibility for someone you are no longer married to (in my humble opinion).
13 Nov 23 by member: cjgriffith1
|
13 Nov 23 by member: likebread123
|
that codependency thing will mess with ya for sure. 🫤 Finding the line between helping people (cuz that's what nice people do) and taking on more responsibility for their lives than they do.. it takes practice but you can do it. 😉👍
13 Nov 23 by member: Marianne 905
|
Being too compassionate can definitely have its downfalls and I used to struggle with the same until i went on disability for a year because I did not have healthy boundaries and wanted to take care of everyone else but myself. Good for you for regcognizing this pattern and sticking to your own self care. It is hard to watch someone we care about slowly kill themselves.
14 Nov 23 by member: Amira Loses
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
Annisworkingonit's weight history
|