FullaBella's Journal, 21 May 2014

Thank you all for your kind, wonderful comments of support and encouragement yesterday. I realize this 'funk' is not worthy of me ~ but it refuses to depart. This morning I look 7 months pregnant for some reason ~ not helping my mood but I know this too shall pass. Meanwhile I'm just taking care of myself and trying to get through the day without doing harm to myself or anyone else.

I even consider it a 'win' that I did the treadmill again this morning and completed my routine despite my sneaker rubbing into my heel to the point that it bled. Stopped, adjusted my socks, and finished. I have yet to experience that endorphin induced adrenalin rush you exercisers claim and promise. Some day.

Massage therapy this afternoon and I'm looking forward to it.

I started reading a very interesting book yesterday titled When you Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair. Maybe it's interesting because I am grasping at straws right now to find that balance and peace so I don't return to punishing myself with food. Not sure.

But my testimony to it is that I am halfway through the book (so it's a short read as I only picked it up during a pedicure) and have already highlighted at least 70% of what I've read.

Nothing so earth shattering new that I feel it's the latest thing since sliced tomatoes. It follows a bit of the EWYL and mindful eating as well as 'love yourself unconditionally today' but is phrased in such a way that I went 'oh.. yeah... that makes sense...' and began highlighting away.

But thanks to whatever happened that I can no longer copy & paste sections of my Kindle reader anymore... probably now known as 'the Bella precedent' ... you'll just have to go online and preview it yourself. Here's a short clip from one of the online reviews though: Chapter 3: When you eat at the refrigerator, pull up a chair. Roth paints a mental picture of inviting a friend to dinner and telling her that you are going to eat the way you eat when you are alone. When she arrives, you lead her to the kitchen, open the refrigerator and stare … then you start picking through cold leftovers with your fingers. We would never actually treat a friend this way and yet so many of us treat ourselves in exactly this manner.

And with that folks, I'm out of here. Some parting photos and quotes for your entertainment and enlightenment.

Bella

180.0 lb Lost so far: 105.0 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1923 kcal

Fat: 143.30g | Prot: 82.63g | Carb: 89.26g.   Breakfast: Chocolate Chips, Smart Balance Omega Natural Peanut Butter, Bacon, Kroger Jumbo Eggs, Gruyere Cheese, Coffee-Mate Sugar Free Hazelnut Powder Coffee Creamer, Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise, StarKist Foods Chunk Light Tuna in Water, Balsamic Vinegar, Zucchini, Red Tomatoes, Yellow Summer Squash, Spectrum Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, Whole Milk, Gruyere Cheese. more...

2760 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 3 hours, Housework - 1 hour, Sitting - 3 hours, Standing - 3 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Sleeping - 13 hours. more...