kingkeld's Journal, 29 November 2011

Wow. Yesterday threw me off COMPLETELY!

It started off as a great day, and I ended up being stressed out (or not really anything other than little things) and having a bad time!

I woke up, did the Extreme Makeover workout (and liked it so much that I did it again this morning!), wrote my journal while having breakfast, and then played through the 1st set of my band's songs. Then off to work.

At work, I realize that I had left ALL the papers I need to actually catch up - at home! Sigh. No catching up. Fortunately, we have an all-afternoon meeting that is mandatory (and sounds very interesting) from 11.30. So I work on my stuff until then, and off we go. Well that being said, the morning work was a ton of curve balls and they came at me from all sides.

So, getting to the course/meeting, I realize that I didn't bring my lunch. It's sitting at my work place in the fridge, 30 kilometers away. Not to worry. There is being served sandwiches for lunch. Nice ones, too. Full of fat meat, poor quality bread and drenched in dressings. We're out on the country side with no alternatives, and I am hungry. So I have one, with the will to compensate on dinner.

Well, dinner was leftover meat balls (which is one of my favories), and they're high on calories. We do, however, also have little bit of leftover (dry) ham. So I get the ham, La Familia gets all the goodies and I am stuck with dry ham, whole wheat pasta and tomato sauce. Way too boring when I had my mind set on something else.

The good news is that even if I was fussy and grumpy all evening (which was short - I went to bed early as I felt hungry and not satisfied - probably just a mental thing as I had enough to eat for dinner to be full) I managed to stay within my RDI. I did good. And today I am damn proud of it. I was so tempted to just say "screw it" and have my meat balls, but I stayed away from it.

I think what happens is REALLY this:

These days I stress over work. There is a LOT to do, and not enough time to really do it. I have appointments with people which HAS to be done on time, or I break the law. The paper work is essentially secondary, but needs to be done of course. So what I can do when it's really busy is to do and register the meetings, then catch up later. However, that pile gets bigger and bigger and it stresses me. I don't like it.

So I cling to the things I AM good at - my weight loss. When it goes well, I am happy. I plan my meals, and I stick to that plan. So when my plan gets screwed up, I get very irritated. I get bitchy and whiny, probably more because of I have to regroup than the actual change.

Then, on top of that, my weight hasn't budged for days. I know I am still losing weight. My fat percentage is today registering as 10.4% - an all time (and almost scary) new low.

Normally this number goes down in two cases:

1. Right after Indulgence Day. It makes sense. I eat a lot on Indulgence Day, so my total weight is high. If the weight of fat in my body is the same, the percentage will go down. Simple math.

2. When I am losing fat weight, but the weight won't budge. This is really the same thing happening, but opposite #1. In this case, weight stays the same, but the weight of fat in my body goes down, and so will the percentage. Again, simple math.

So, when I see that I consistently weigh the same and I get a new low fat percentage, I know that things are happening "behind the scenes". This helps me stay (reasonably) sane during times like this. If you don't have a smart scale, I highly recommend getting one. I love mine!

However, this stress thing is something I want to work on. I don't want to be irritated by the little things. I want to be happy while doing this - as I know it helps me. Stress can factor in on MANY things, and one in particular is our weight. I don't want to fall into this trap.

For me, I think it's primarily about my mindset. I need to be a little better to focus on work when it's quite time there. Quiet time is good for catching up, and I need to do a little better on that.

Also, I need to be happier at home. Now, it sounds like I'm this all-grumpy ogre just nagging and complaining. That's not the case. I just get quiet and can tell that I get irritated when things don't go as expected. I need to be better at stopping up and asking myself "is it okay that this happened? Will I survive it? Will it wipe out the entire human race, now that this happened?". The answer is of course that it is NOT that important, and yes - we will survive.

So I think that the bottom line on these thoughts will be this:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.
2. It's ALL small stuff.

Today, I'm going teaching the rockin' kids after work. We're gonna work on Highway To Hell and Smoke On The Water - hopefully we'll get a little further. The kids showed great progress last time - I hope they'll do as well today.

Life is good!

188.3 lb Lost so far: 153.4 lb.    Still to go: 0.9 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

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1254 kcal

Fat: 46.55g | Prot: 106.91g | Carb: 110.72g.   Breakfast: ham, Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Egg. Lunch: sliced ham, green peas, brocolli. Dinner: Broccoli, Sliced Ham (Regular, Approx. 11% Fat). Snacks/Other: extra lean ham, Free Laekkerbar, carrot. more...

3158 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Standing - 2 hours, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 15 minutes, Sitting - 3 hours and 30 minutes, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 45 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Music playing - 3 hours, Desk Work - 6 hours and 30 minutes. more...