Just about noon here on Saturday. I've been watching a movie
Temple Grandin which I highly recommend. It is a true story about a woman with autism. Since I work with the little ones, birth to three, often when they are first diagnosed I really found this interesting.
I know I said that I would mix up my exercise but I had a little of the movie left. Seemed like a waste to not watch it while I was on my elliptical so I did. Then I did one of my kettle bell workouts. It isn't very long but it nearly killed me!!! I can only imagine how challenging my pilates will be ... it has been months since I have done either. I have three short kettle bell workouts. I only did one. Figured I'd ease my way back into it. No sense in over doing it, right?
I also mixed up breakfast this morning and made steel cut oatmeal. While I really like oatmeal I have to tell you that it didn't really satisfy me. I felt hungry still. I did put 2 tablespoons of chopped walnuts in it and a few craisins but I'm not sure this is the meal that will do the trick for me in the morning. I find I am much more satisfied with one of the smoothies I make or with eggs. It is good to be paying attention to what is satisfying. One of my goals is to really learn to feed my body the foods it needs. So often I am feeding my body the food I "think" I want ... which often leads to endless grazing, foods that do not satisfy and me feeling like crap.
The scale is slowing inching back down to my recorded weight here. This morning I was an even 207. I won't be recording a new weight on FS until it is below 204.2. Of course I am tracking it on my written journal here at home.
Today is the 24th anniversary of my husband and I meeting for the first time!! 24 years ago today we met, in the evening at a Bob's Big Boy (who remembers those???) in Atascadero, California. We met each other through a personal ad I had placed in a local free paper. It happens also to be my husband's parents' wedding anniversary (though both of them are now deceased). Hubby wants to go out for dinner tonight to celebrate. He had to work today, so I am home alone again.
I actually slept in until 7:45 am this morning!! It was wonderful. I have done the budget, sorted bills and money, and vacuumed downstairs. I think I might do some laundry next. I should dust and vacuum upstairs too ... we'll see if the spirit moves me. I used to be an avid house keeper. I find now I do the bare minimum and it doesn't bother me!!
My positive self-statements/goals are as follows:
I like myself!! I love my body!!! I crave healthy foods and am satisfied with healthy foods. I feed my body the perfect foods and calories it needs to lose pounds. I vary my exercise. I weigh 180 lbs. I listen carefully to my body. I take care of myself. I am kind to myself. I am organized and efficient. I plan well and carry through with my plans. I am a successful business woman and entrepreneur. I am an expert in my field. People pay me for my expertise. Our wood shed is full. Our dental needs are met. We have money saved to pay for a vacation in full in Mexico in February 2012. I handle strong emotion and conflict calmly. I believe in myself. I sleep well. I am financially stable. I manage our finances responsibly. I earn $100,000 a year. I manage a foundation, Random Acts of Kindness. I am compassionate.
Ye olde hubby is still struggling. He did have a little better night last night. I watched him push through the anxiety and we did some home business work together. The odd thing is he does fine during the day at work. It is one his way home, he says on our drive, it starts to overtake him. I told him last night I think he is allergic to me. He asks me ... where this comes from ... and I try to tell him it is coming from his own head but he's not there yet. It doesn't make sense, other than the fact that he is busily distracted at work with work that he only feels crappy at home. I know it has to have some connection to the thoughts he has in his head, most of which are probably on auto-pilot but I can't figure it out for him. I do know that the hormone suppression shots he has been on for the past two years have messed with his natural metabolism and that indeed could be a factor. His last shot was 6 months ago. The shot "works" for 6 months. He is just beginning the recovery phase. It will take some time. Sorry if I am over sharing ... it is on my mind and I guess I want you all to know that my husband has not always been like this. He and I have had a rough few years.
I am grateful today ...
1. For another home alone day ... absolutely love time at home alone!!
2. For a good night's sleep and being able to fall back asleep after hubby went off to work this morning.
3. For 24 years together ... I would have never of thought any man could stand me for this long!!!
4. For continuing to learn more and more about me, what works for me, getting to know, love, and accept myself.
5. And always ... for my friends here on fatsecret ... others who are making their way on their own journey ... laughing with each other, encouraging each other, sharing tidbits of information, checking up on each other, and on and on.
By golly I think I could go make myself something to eat!!! YAY!!! I am hungry!!! I hope you all have a lovely weekend. Be good to yourselves. Remember ... we cannot change what we do not own. That is why accepting our bodies, whatever shape they may be in, is so very important. Acceptance doesn't equate to "liking." It just means we acknowledge, embrace, make peace ... however you want to put that. I do believe that it is one of the keys to being able to change. At least for me it has been. Life is process, not product ... we will never be done!!
Take care!!