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I'm having a difficult time today. I am bummed. And I'm frustrated with myself for being "bummed" because I know better. I'm proud of myself for weighing this morning, though every fiber in my body told me to put it off for a few days. Putting it off for a few days is what has always led to me gaining a substantial number of pounds in the past. I knew I could not do that. Of course, after three days of running around like a crazy person, not drinking enough water, and eating much more than I would for two of those days the scale showed an increase of 6.4 lbs. That of course is why I am bummed. Now, I KNOW that it is only temporary. I KNOW what to do. I AM DOING it. Why do I let this bother me? Why do I feel like a failure today? I read Flaxseed's journal entry, coming back from her daughter's wedding and it is so POSITIVE!! Such a great attitude!! And here I am, moaning and groaning, whining and feeling sorry for myself. I guess old habits really do die hard. I also know this is definitely not the last time I will have something special come up and I will get out of my routine and then see a temporary increase on the scale. It isn't today's number I should be concerned about. I still need to focus on the journey and this "number" is just one part of the journey. It is NOT my destination. UGH. I'm embarrassed to admit how I feel today. It isn't "positive", "upbeat", or any other positive adjective. As my dear husband would say, my "black" dog is trying to get the better of me. I'm "beating up on myself" which never has a positive result. So, okay, what's the plan then? Well, I already worked out ... an hour and 1/2 on the elliptical. I've downed 40 ounces of water so far and will make sure I continue to drink lots today. I will eat when I am hungry and make healthy choices, perhaps having a lower calorie day but not being overly obsessed with it. I will respect my hunger and body today. Fighting my thoughts is more difficult ... but I will argue with myself and refuse to feel bad about Frank's report this morning. It is what it is. I now have a healthier relationship with food and my body. A momentary gain on the scale does not mean anything really ... unless I give it that power. I am NOT destined to be obese. Breathe. Relax. Let go. Acknowledge that even though the trip was fun it was also stressful and today is just that "after trip" let down I almost always experience. I'm tired. So ... oh I get it!! Today I simply need to take care of myself, be kind to myself, nourish and hydrate myself, get some rest, laugh, relax. Okay ... a little better ... I'll be fine. Good grief, I really do tire myself out somedays!!! LOL!!! I hope all of your internal conversations are not like mine!!! Thanks for listening to me drone on and on. Have a stupendous day!!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 05 July 2009:
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1716 kcal
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Fat: 63.94g | Prot: 84.12g | Carb: 226.33g.
Breakfast: Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Breast (Skin Not Eaten), water, medifast cocoa. Lunch: tomato, Hillshire Farms Turkey, Franz Whole Wheat English Muffin, Cherries. Dinner: Newman's Balsamic Dressing, Glazed Walnuts, Craisins, Wonton Strips, Canned Black Beans, Sunflower Nuts, yellow sweet pepper, tomatoes, cucumber, avocado, apple, Feta, lettuce. Snacks/Other: Chocolate Nut Antioxidant, Cranberry Nut Antioxidant, Perrier, Kashi GoLEAN Chocolate Peanut, Fiber One. more...
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3081 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Elliptical - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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