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I pondered. I debated. I listened to the comments on my journals and I finally decided to bite the bullet. I put in my numbers. Even though I didn't want to, simply because it changed my color back to "yellow" and I so loved the "green." It makes my chart look not so pretty but it is real. And I think that having the real numbers in is more realistic. It is my history and I'll be able to look back on it when I take the next vacation and remember that the increase was temporary and is nothing to stress about. I wasn't in denial, I was still weighing and recording in my old fashioned journal but still ... it is what it is and it will be "green" again, soon I hope.
This is an important part of my journey and something I think I need to pay attention to for many different reasons. The primary reason is for me to be okay with me. I'm still surprized at how much I gained in one short week ... good grief can you imagine what would have happened if I did not exercise or watch what I ate at all? I hate to even imagine that scenario. So ... there it is.
Diet Calendar Entries for 26 May 2009:
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1132 kcal
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Fat: 18.48g | Prot: 87.19g | Carb: 163.48g.
Breakfast: medifast cocoa, water. Lunch: Yoplait Light Thick & Creamy Orange Creme, 2% cottage cheese, Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Breast (Skin Not Eaten), pineapple tidbits. Dinner: perrier. Snacks/Other: cantaloupe, Marathon Nutrition Bar - Dark Chocolate Crunch, Zone Bar Dark Chocolate Mocha, Fiber One Oats & Apple Streusel. more...
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3117 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Precor Elliptical - 38 minutes, Driving - 2 hours, Desk Work - 8 hours and 56 minutes, Resting - 4 hours and 26 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
You are doing fine. It is hard to look at I know but like you said it is what it is. It is not like you are denying it or pretending it did not happen. That is kicking one bad habit. Living in a state of denial. You will be green in no time at all. Probably before me. ha ha
26 May 09 by member: judibird
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Maybe we will synchronize our green arrival!!! Thanks for the encouragement.
26 May 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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Now we are talking reality...I am really proud of you for putting this in there. Please don't take that as condescending...I just know it would be so hard to enter that higher weight number in...but its also real and that is a great thing. To be honest with you it doesn't look as bad on the chart as I thought it would...when you are down as far as you are even going up that much doesn't negate all the good you did in the months before. I also like that tail that is starting back down. I actually think being able to add that higher weight to the chart is more inspiring then the downhill slide you have before. So while it sounds weird...CONGRATULATIONS.
So on we go...we have a long way...no hurry...just one step after the next...
R.Pirsig
26 May 09 by member: jchickos
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Good for you! I thought about doing the same thing and writing it down somewhere else but that leads to disaster for me - keep track of all the bumps in the road - they are part of your journey! Its real and you're doing it!
27 May 09 by member: megan4
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I am proud of you too. I bit the bullet and put in my number today. I am bummed but together we can do this.
27 May 09 by member: yogamama3
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I understand not wanting to put numbers in, but I am proud that you have shown your journey, and it does come off SO fast. Congrats on working your way back down.
27 May 09 by member: Deana Garcia
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Thanks for all the congratulations!! LOL!! Jim it doesn't sound condescending at all ... I'm actually proud of myself. I really didn't want to do it but with everyone's support I started to question myself what the benefit was in continuing to "wait" until I was back to at least 191 (when I became "green"). Frankly there was no benefit ... just a way to "look good" and the point of this journey is not appearances ... it is about acceptance and being real. It is about learning how to end my self destructive cycle of losing a considerable amount of weight and then gaining a considerable amount of weight, over and over and over again. It is about living my life in a way which is kinder and healthier ... no more self depracation, beating up on myself for simply being human. So ... many heartfelt thanks are beaming out to all of you. Thanks to those of you who encouraged me to "face the music" and to all of you who continue to be a great support system in my journey.
27 May 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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madaboutmoose your journal entries are so inspiring. I love to read them. They really help me. You put down things into words so many of us are going through too. I am so glad you continue to persevere. We are all with you.
29 May 09 by member: trimelda
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