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My mood about my weight is good, my mood about everything else is not.
This no health insurance thing is driving me crazy. I have been more times than ever. And I need the insurance. I wish that I didn't have to look for a new job, but I have a feeling that's what it's going to come down to. Everything is so confusing and circular. I finally got the Charity Care under control. I was missing one pay stub though. So when I asked the payroll department about getting a copy of it, do you know what they tell me? It'll cost ME $5! Really? You pay me less than 20K, you don't give me 401K like you promised when I was hired (3 months in I'll get a 401k plan, well I'm working on 6 months now, and nothing), and you don't give me health insurance and now you're going to charge me $5 to get a copy of my pay stub! UGH! I really just can't deal with the blatant disregard for my well being anymore. I know it's a business, I'm just so sick and tired of being scared, sick, tired, and frustrated.
I think my stress level has broken my plateau rather than exercise and eating habits. I'm starting to send my resume out, so that'll continue my stress level, and then I'm thinking about going back to school. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed out that I am starting to get grey hair, and I wish I was kidding. And since my hair is so dark now, they are super noticeable. I don't know what to do anymore.
My weight is moving in the right direction and I'm going to yoga tonight, which is a nice relaxation that I'm totally looking forward to. I think in all of this, I'm going to focus on my yoga practice. I usually feel very centered when I leave the studio. It's a good feeling.
I've got the bridal shower in 17 days, I'm hoping to drop a couple more pounds by then, and I'm .6lbs away from my next goal. Which makes me happy. I'm hoping I can get down another pants size by the end of the month, but with time that will come.
Thanks to everyone who made me feel better yesterday about my snobbery. I'm extra emotional nowadays, just because of the health concerns I'm having as well as the fact that TOM came. Which I guess would also contribute to the lack of weigh loss over the last week or so. Weigh-wise, I know I'm doing the right thing and eventually it will fall off. I'll wake up one morning and I will be a different person on the outside, and I know that. I'm just happy that I haven't given up on myself, the old Allison would have done that. I'm not her anymore, I'm stronger mentally and maybe even physically. I'm not smoking anymore, I ran 20 minutes last night, and the WiiFit told me that it was for 2.731 miles, which is helpful, because once it gets warmer I do want to train for a 5K.
Well this is long enough for now. Sorry I just felt the need for a safe haven to vent. Have a great Wednesday!!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 03 March 2010:
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473 kcal
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Fat: 10.56g | Prot: 32.77g | Carb: 56.84g.
Breakfast: Stella D'Oro 100 Calorie Snack Pack, Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Coffee. Lunch: Jello Cherry Black Cherry, Tilapia (Fish), Green Beans. Snacks/Other: 100 Calorie Pack Grasshoppers, Sunshine Cheez-It 100 Calorie Right Bites. more...
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2901 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Weight Training (moderate) - 1 hour and 20 minutes, Stretching (yoga) - 1 hour and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 40 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours and 45 minutes. more...
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