Cass393's Journal, 11 August 2023

I have a close family member who has not been supportive of most of my weight loss journey. That person struggles with their weight significantly. It may be if your significant other isn’t happy with his/her body he may be transferring that into resentment if you are succeeding. Do your best to take care of yourself. Take a breath when he/she is annoying or critical or trying to sabotage you. Remember this journey is about you and you alone. In this one instance YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM when it comes to your health. Best wishes to you cass 

Are you doing it for him or for you? If you’re doing it for you, focus on making yourself happy. Expecting other people to cheer for you can sometimes be a road to heartbreak and disappointment. Bat for yourself. You’re doing great! 

I'm in same situation!  

I am in this for myself and my children. My youngest is already 17, but I am young still, and they do need and rely on me since their dad died. I do see a lot in our relationship where he seems to resent things that I am successful with. But again, I am motivational and supportive to a fault. I am a firm believer that only we can change our own lives and futures. That is truly when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and my circumstances, and decided to take control of the one thing only I can control. My health belongs to me! Thanks guys. I assumed this wasn’t just a me thing. Sometimes we just need to be reassured.  

Cass im curious, are you an enabler? What i mean is, are you carrying the load for the two of you and expected to carry the load? Make sure you know your own value and demand that your partner knows your worth as well. Be strong and demand no less for yourself than you would demand for the partner of one of your children (once fully grown). Take care. 

I no longer enable poor treatment of myself. I did at one point, and that is part of how I got to my heaviest weight without being pregnant. I am however with someone who I believe truly fears that anything good will leave him. When he asked me to marry him, it was a lot of “no one ever made me feel loved and has ever done what you do for myself and my children out of just love”. Although watching people eat and enjoy my cooking brings me great joy, I don’t encourage the amounts that they eat. So I am working to get our whole blended family on the same page. Good lean proteins, fresh fruits and vegetables, and limited starches. I want all of us to live a long healthy life with good habits. Just would be nice to have the person I love be more supportive vs afraid. I’m not with someone because I’m fat or skinny. That is just silly to me  

But thank you for pointing that out. I was in that place once upon a time. And more women should be supportive of others in that place! Men as well; sorry didn’t meant to not include men lol. 

Good response cass. Glad you know you deserve good things! 

Good response cass. Glad you know you deserve good things! 

You deserve better. You deserve to be supported in your healthy habits. 

My fiancé has had 5 stents put in. 1 before we met when he had a heart attack at an early age, and 4 while we’ve been together at the same time. It seems to be a genetic issue to a point, but he eats horrendously. So I’m hoping that my more healthy eating will rub off. Sounds like it is starting to. He has one daughter with ED issues, and an even younger one starting to exhibit the same behavior. Lot on my plate, but I am hitting it all full force. Balanced meals at least and full of vitamins and things necessary for growth. For him I try to encourage smaller portions and less fat. It’s a hard battle, but if I want this forever, then it’s what I need to do.  

What works in our house is zero unhealthy food or dangerous food in the house. Literally zero. My hubs is on board. You make healthy food they either eat it or figure it out for themselves but hopefully they eat with you. Lot of great ideas from fellow fatsecret members on healthy food meals. 

Yes! I’m learning a lot of recipes for old favorites just healthier. My 17 year old isn’t necessarily on board with some things, but he’s ditched soda, asked for salad fixings for lunch, and has been eating every meal I make for everyone else. I still usually eat somewhat separately.