angelfancy's Journal, 18 October 2021

So very mad at myself. I stopped caring several months ago and now weigh more then I ever have in my life. I deleted this app and said I don’t care. Well now none of my clothes fit, I am tired all the time and I am starting to have major health issues. All I do is sit, eat, watch tv or scroll on my phone.

Today is a fresh day. I am not going continue down this self destructive mode. I got up, weighed myself 222.5 (the most I have ever weighed in my life) and I am about to have a healthy breakfast. I deleted all the bad apps off my phone. Today rain or shine I am going to walk.

Have I been depressed? Yes I have. I let myself fall into this toxic rut and now I need to shake myself out of it.

Diet Calendar Entry for 18 October 2021:
70 kcal Fat: 0.00g | Prot: 0.00g | Carb: 16.96g.   Breakfast: Sugar, No Name Coffee Whitener Light, Black Tea. more...

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Comments 
I hear you and I'm in the same boat. Today is the day to start again and practice some self care - something that's always been hard for me to do. Always worried about others instead of myself. I bet you're the same?  
18 Oct 21 by member: torteea
sounds like you are in the right mind set to start making a healthy change. Stay strong safe and committed. 
18 Oct 21 by member: CarrieC22
Been there done that! And I'm pretty sure most of us on here have done it too. It is so stinking hard to maintain focus and discipline. Low carb is the only way I can lose weight and not feel like I'm starving all the time. But boy to I miss pasta and rice! You CAN do this! We are rooting for you. 
19 Oct 21 by member: rhontique
You gotta get your mind right to get your body right ❤️ don’t be too hard on yourself. We’ve all been there before; small changes every day make a big difference in the end. Good luck on your journey! 
19 Oct 21 by member: hawarb99
you will get back into it love . It takes time and take it one day at a time.  
20 Oct 21 by member: belladen10
Have you heard of Dirty Lazy Keto? Lots of You Tube videos, and she explains everything very well. Start with the beginning videos if you are interested. Lots of support. It's not the strict keto you may have heard of, I think it might suit you. 
20 Oct 21 by member: Lindart
I feel like you wrote my thoughts down...except I've been screwing up since the start of covid and in a run so deep I don't know how to begin to climb out... I downloaded this app. so I guess step 1  
21 Oct 21 by member: daka125
@daka125, you can succeed at this! Lots of support and encouragement here from others on the same journey, and good tips and meal ideas too. Welcome to our community! 
21 Oct 21 by member: grammalaura
you've got this, don't beat yourself up. this whole 2 years has been hard on most of us  
21 Oct 21 by member: FluffynotFat58
I relate to this so much. You got this! 
21 Oct 21 by member: morkbee
you should consider talking to your Dr., your depression can lead to eating, but some anti-depressant or anti-anxiety meds can brighten your mood, making it easier to care again 🙂. I'm speaking from my own experience. The thing is, this doesn't mean you're weak, it's physiological, not mental. Our bodies don't always produce enough serotonin. Talk to your Dr, make a plan. Your journey begins with your first step.  
21 Oct 21 by member: Jentringo
Yeah 
22 Oct 21 by member: Tapocheux
If I lost a pound every time I "fell of the wagon to better health" I would have reached and surpassed my goals! Today is my first day back on here as well after a very long time. You need to be gentle with yourself if you do have these "hiccups". Just get up, dust yourself off and keep going! YOU'VE GOT THIS!! 
26 Oct 21 by member: Lilyajade
Thank you all for your lovely comments. I appreciate the encouragement!!! 
28 Oct 21 by member: angelfancy
I too am at my heaviest ever and honestly it's because I have been too depressed to do anything for over a year. Good for you for saying no more and I hope to do the same soon 
29 Oct 21 by member: calliepyke

     
 

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