MeltMyGut's Journal, 05 June 2021

Wow this weight loss journey sure has been a roller-coaster for me in three major ways. A roller-coaster physically, emotionally and spiritually. Physically dealing with hunger and changes in my body, reassuring myself that there will be more food to eat, just not now. Strengthening my body through cardio and exercise, dealing with the pain and discomfort that comes with body recomposition. Emotionally dealing with the ups and downs of the scale, the frustration when it goes up and the elation when it goes down. Those polar swings on a daily and weekly basis have made me weep on many occasions throughout the journey. Spiritually coming to terms with the realization that a big component of the harm I was causing myself stemmed from the walling off I had created between myself and the source of life itself. Living a life of self-will, in ignorance and rejection of a power greater than myself had manifested many negative health outcomes in my life. Learning how to embrace a spiritual life, how to love God, how to surrender to God, how to devote myself to God has allowed me to learn how to love myself and truly see those around me. Finding this healing space amongst all the fatsecret users here has helped to change my life for the better. Learning the value of vulnerability in sharing my suffering and struggles with other has been transformative. I would not have been able to do that with out seeing you all doing the same thing. The support that is given freely on this forum is a gift. I am so grateful for this community. Thank you FSF for being there for me and showing me the way to be there for others.

On a sub-topic for my post it keeps feeling more vulnerable and scary to share my weight and my struggles the closer I get to my goal weight. I find this to be very strange as I found it nothing at all to share those things when I first started. The closer I get to my goal weight the more exposed I feel when sharing on here. The good thing is that I'm leaning into that discomfort instead of running from it. I belive that leaning into it will help me achieve my goal. The strange thing is that I don't know where this feeling of exposure comes from as I get close to my major achievement. I think there is a gold nugget inside of this nut once I crack it. Any thoughts from y'all are welcome on this topic 😃

189.2 lb Lost so far: 38.8 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1514 kcal

Fat: 80.35g | Prot: 66.84g | Carb: 141.96g.   Breakfast: Butter , Dave's Killer Bread Thin-Sliced Good Seed Organic Bread, So Delicious Coconut Milk Unsweetened, Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard 100% Whey - Chocolate, Badia Chia Seeds, Kirkland Signature Greek Yogurt, Bananas, Strawberries, Nasoya Organic Extra Firm Tofu. Lunch: Kirkland Signature Basil Pesto, Sesame Oil , Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Trader Joe's Brown Cage Free Eggs (Large), Tattooed Chef Organic Greens 5. Snacks/Other: Nature's Bakery Raspberry Fig Bar (Package). more...

2451 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Skating - 10/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...