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I have been struggling for the last month. I realized the other day at an AA meeting that it is in large part due to my attitude. I have been feeling sorry for myself because I have to stay on this restricted carb diet. I was feeling powerless and victimized. I felt angry that I had to work so hard to be healthy when others can eat whatever they want. I realized at the meeting which was about how attitude can affect us was that I wasn't a victim. I have total control and choice over what I eat every day and every moment. I chose to go on this food plan and I planned to stay on it for life. I put my whole heart in to this WOE. No one made me do it. I chose it. And I still wish to choose it. I choose health, I choose to feel good, I choose to be healed from diabetes, I choose to be able to be active, I choose to live a longer life. And I also choose to accept the fact that I have a food addiction - I am addicted to carbs and sugar. It does me no good to be angry at my addiction - it is an illness just as my diabetes was. The only thing that helps is to accept my addiction and to face it head on. I don't have to like it but I do have to accept it. Every time I eat something I will work to remember that my WOE is always my choice. I can choose to eat the wrong foods but I will face the consequences if I do that.
Fighting an addiction is a challenge - it requires real ongoing change on many levels. I was ready to make the easy changes but I balked at making the more difficult ones. So I am facing a choice now. Am I going to go back to my addiction or am I going to accept that I have to make real changes to accept it? For today I am going to choose my WOE.
Diet Calendar Entry for 06 November 2010:
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619 kcal
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Fat: 45.66g | Prot: 27.15g | Carb: 32.71g.
Breakfast: Blueberries, Splenda, Baking powder, Cinnamon, Egg, Flax seeds. more...
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 Comments
NICE! I know I got real down when I was sick and just wanted comfort food so I made some poor choices but they were all low carb ones just more chocolate and protein shakes than I would normally eat. I think I will make a MIM for a snack this afternoon... maybe I'll just have one for breakfast in the morning... who knows I'm steal healing. Hang in there this WOE is sooo worth the choice! My cholesterol is back down so low that I got to quit taking my meds for it.
06 Nov 10 by member: Myree67
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Andrea, you've hit the nail on the head. We all have choices! We're not victims getting punished, we've made the choice to embark on this WOE/WOL to become healthier! Sounds like it was a great meeting.
06 Nov 10 by member: Sandy701
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Andrea, we all go through those down times for sure. And we all feel a little resentful at times that we can't eat the things that we crave! But youa re right, no one is making us do any of this...we chose it, and whether we succeed or fail is entirely up to us. If we succeed, it will be due to our perseverance, and if we fail we will have no one to blame but ourselves. The choice is ours! Have a great Saturday evening.
06 Nov 10 by member: ctlss
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Congrats Andrea on all those realizations. This WOE isn't for the faint of heart, I don't think, but it is a choice and its a good choice. Its also a choice to journal here and get our comments and support. I congratulate you on all your good choices! You are doing a lot of things at the same times, its a lot to ask of yourself, but you have a strong faith and in god all things are possible. Take a breath and remember one step at a time. You can do this, if you chose to. We all support you and are here for you, as you are here for us. Thank you for stopping by my journal and giving me support too. Keep on keeping on, and you will get there, you will feel better.
07 Nov 10 by member: sarahsmum
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I have the same realization after reading your post.
08 Nov 10 by member: lotus2009
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Great choice on going to your AA meeting to start with!!! Life is full of choices. Even for those not aware - or unwilling to face what their choices are doing to themselves! But you are aware. Sure, it stinks to choose to pay the mortgage over going on vacation, but having a place to live ALL the time is better than one week on the beach! So, you're right...the consequences for some to choose sugar and high carb foods is down right deadly! I am sure glad you are making the right choices for YOU! No matter the 'price' you have to pay to regain your health and well being...you will be glad to have made these choices in the long run. And when you see others choosing to neglect their bodies, become debilitated by diabetes, live obesely overweight lifestyles, or have no ZIP for their futures...you will remember these days...and be grateful for the realization you needed to make some healthy choices for YOU! Happy for you today...great choices! Today is a new day, and an opportunity to make new great choices!!! Love.
08 Nov 10 by member: jsfantome
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