makparis's Journal, 26 April 2010

Hello everyone. Sorry I have been absent the last couple weeks. I was sick last week and pretty out of it for a few days and it's taken me some time to get back into the swing of things.

It's been a interesting few weeks, my niece had a birthday party this weekend, she's turning 13 on Wednesday. My Bible Study wrapped up for the Spring tonight. I didn't finish my reading assignment for last Thursday's History class and did terrible on the quiz. My niece and her fiance decided to get a place of their own so my house will soon be empty of extra people - YAY! They moved this coming weekend! I've been cheering all day about this news. I've oddly gotten myself a bit hooked on Stargate SG-1 lately. I've always been a fan of the show, I own it on DVD, and recently decided to watch a few episodes to pass the time and now I'm hooked. Although I've seen them before, I'm totally enamored by the story. I'm so weird.

I've been really bad about my eating lately. Not only have I not been writing everything down, I've been giving into temptation left and right. I'm disappointed with myself, but I'm trying to not berate myself too much and get depressed and start eating chocolate. It doesn't help that we made brownies tonight for the final night of Bible Study. There are still more downstairs and I keep thinking about them. I need to slap my hand or something.

My greatest struggle when it comes to food has been my son. If it were just me, I could so well, there would only been lean meat, veggies and fruit in my house. Unfortunately, my son won't eat most of that, I have to bribe him to eat and apple. So, I have to keep some bad food around to satisfy him and force him to eat salads in exchange for having a hot pocket. Now, hot pockets don't interest me, but there are things he likes that do: chocolate pop tarts, pizza, cheetos, and more. The other issue is cooking. Tonight I made a yummy Taco Pizza, the recipe I got from a diet cookbook, was delicious and only 300 calories. He wouldn't touch it. He'll eat chicken, fries, pizza (pepperoni and sausage), and tacos. Now, you would think that since he likes tacos and pizza that the combination wouldn't be so bad. It was simply ground beef seasoned by salsa on wheat crust topped with cheese. No additional seasoning or anything he would object too, but because it is different he turns his nose up at it. I'm not sure what to do. I can't live on grilled chicken and salad forever. I need more and I'm so happy there are recipes out there for me to try that give me more. I'm also not willing to cook two dinners. AAAAHHHH!! This kid is driving me NUTS! I love him, I really do, I'm just feeling frustrated. Of course, he ate some of the brownies.

Oy. I'm not looking for advice on this, just a chance to vent. And thankfully, this journal allows for just that. Hallelujah! The wind is blowing hard outside and I just heard my trash can blow over. So, I'm going to wrap this up and go and pick up that mess.

7 Things I'm Grateful for:
1. My son - Although he is a total pain in my ass, I still love him and can't imagine my life without him.
2. Diet Cookbooks - I'd be stuck eating oatmeal, grilled chicken and salad (I do enjoy these, just not everyday, over and over....) for the rest of life it weren't for those who break the boundary and seek out low cal tastes and so graciously share their wisdom.
3. Springtime - I can't sleep with my windows open and feel the breeze gently blowing it. It's lovely.
4. Jewelry - I don't know what it is about my shiny, costumed bobbles, but I do enjoy buying, wearing and buying some more.
5. Trains - There is a train track about seven blocks from my home and with my windows open I can hear the whistle. It reminds me of my grandmother's place. Something peaceful in that sound.
6. Grandmothers - I had a wonderful grandmother and I'm so thankful that my son has two amazing women that love him and enjoy having him as their grandson.
7. Prayer - My peaceful, quite, reflective time with God. Oh how I hunger for it and feel so very blessed by each and every moment of it. Whether alone or in a crowd, my heart can reach out to Him. Fantastic.

Thank you FatSecret for this wonderful site, such a great blessing. Thank you to all my FS friends for all your support, love, generosity of spirit and so much more. This coming Saturday is my one year anniversary with FS and I'm looking for it to it. It also means that I have 4 days to lose 4.4 lbs in order to make my goal. I've got my work cut out for me this week. Please keep me in your prayers.

349.4 lb Lost so far: 26.6 lb.    Still to go: 189.4 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1635 kcal

Fat: 53.51g | Prot: 91.02g | Carb: 208.64g.   Breakfast: red raspberries, skim milk, fiber one cereal, fiber one chocolate bar. Lunch: sweet onion, oroweat sandwich thins, light ranch dressing, bleu cheese, turkey burger. Dinner: taco pizza. Snacks/Other: orange, grapefruit, fudge brownie. more...