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16 December 2011

I don't know how to battle my feelings of hopelessness. For example, last week I weighed myself a few days before my weigh-in and the scale read 212.4 I was ecstatic, that was 6.4 pounds down and I still had two days to go in my first week of dieting.

Then it happened. I weighed-in on Saturday and I was 213.0. I had gained .6 pounds. I don't know how, or what had happened, but I was so disappointed. I figured it was just fluctuation and I would be down way more the next time I checked.

I was wrong, I was at 211.6, still at least .8 pounds down from that initial 212.4 but no where near what I was hoping to be. Now, I just don't want to get on the scale this Saturday. I have stuck so close to my plan and had so many little victories, but it's so hard to feel like it matters at all unless there is something to show for it at the end of the week.

I am now sticking to the plan out of habit more than out of hope that it will make me healthier and help me to lose weight. I'm discouraged, I feel like no matter how good I do it doesn't matter, it still won't pay off. I don't know. I'm in a real funk and I'm not sure how to escape.

14 December 2011

Weigh-in: 211.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 46.0 lb Diet followed N/A

14 December 2011

Weigh-in: 211.0 lb lost so far: 7.0 lb still to go: 46.0 lb Diet followed N/A

03 December 2011

Weigh-in: 218.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 53.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well

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