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Weight History
showing entries 16 to 20 of 51
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15 June 2013
Yesterday was another day of poorly following my food plan. My two infractions were eating a big sandwich, chips and TWO cookies in front of the TV. The other infraction was eating bologna and cheese and a tsp of mocha cappucino spread after dinner. I am tempted to modify my plan to eat only on the table to eating two out of three meals at the table. It brings me joy to eat in front of the TV. It is an innocent act that serves as an appropriate reward. But it also leads to mindless eating that adds useless calories. So I have to push forward and maintain my initial goal of eating at the kitchen table. I also have to avoid the 9pm snack.
13 June 2013
Many lessons learned yesterday:
1.) Another lesson learned: White pasta with cheese is a trigger food for me.
2.) Don't leave the table feeling that you need to eat something else.
3.) Turn off TV at 9 even if you are not sleepy.
The behaviors listed above don't require big complicated changes, but they certainly do lead me toward of a path of self-sabotage.
I totally blew it yesterday. I'm sure if I videotaped myself, I would have wondered whether I was binge eating. I have to keep things out of the house. I have a box of macaroni and cheese and I'm thinking of throwing it out. The macaroni is not the real culprit or is the cheese. It's the combination, however that can start the uncontrolled eating.
I almost never felt energetic or refreshed or rejuvenated. I must also add that after lunch, I was completely exhausted. Even in the evening when I was outside, I felt out of breath. I wondered if the refined carbs in the white pasta was forcing my body to focus on processing that food instead of fueling my activity.
8:50 p.m. I don't know why, but I was out of control again. A little bit before noon, I got completely fatigued that I even fell asleep. I did not have the energy to go to the table or maybe I convinced myself that I didn't have the energy. I ended up watching TV until about 7 p.m. What a waste. Even ate a WHOLE box of macaroni. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll work at it. I'm going to walk in the afternoon, though, so I can use my energy to work in the yard. I'm feeling overwhelmed and I wonder if depression is at the root of this fatigue. Either way, the change in exercise will make me feel that my day is not over by noon.
12 June 2013
Monday and Tuesday were wash-outs. I allowed visitors to influence my plans for eating. I think I would have adjusted accordingly, but by the time I knew it, I was eating mindlessly. I do think that I did drink my water and I did eat at the table. I did give away the homemade ice cream that I made, giving myself a chance to succeed the rest of the week.
09 June 2013
Here I am at the beginning of the week and I've gained. I feel that I have to be perfect to lose weight, but then again, I didn't follow my own rules for week. And my trip to out of town was a trip to la-la-land. Actually that's what I said to myself after my weight gain. No more la-la-land. I'm quick to notice how others are unrealistic about their weight and appearance while failing to look in the mirror myself. I have a good plan. I just have to follow it to the letter and minimize the detours. The new behavior of eating at the table is getting better every week.
This week my challenge is to write before I bite, eat all meals at the kitchen table, and maintain 1200 calories, New goals include walking a total of 190 minutes (about an hour each time for 3 days) and maintain health eating guidelines. I will not eat ANYTHING anywhere else. I may drink in other places, but no eating. I will also research and develop a yoga routine that will build overall body strength.
I made it. I maintained 1200 calories, ate at the kitchen table, I drank my water and adhere to healthy eating guidelines. My body felt full and satisfied; I was proud of myself for my accomplishments, especially not abusing my body with improper foods and overeating. BUT I must say that I did feel sad, grief, disappointment, resentment, deprivation, and alienation. I'm angry that I can't unlimited amounts of what I want. As I write this, I realize that I use ONLY food to fill my emotional and psychological needs. This realization is empowering. I'm scared to explore non-food ways of fulfilling my needs, but I also know that this exploration will end well. It is possible to be fulfilled without overeating.
06 June 2013
I haven't been good the last two days. However, with the exception of last night's dinner, I did not feel stuffed. Honestly, I let Pat's diatribes effect me all day. I've been reflecting on them and note that I have to change my response to them. He's like a barking dog, loud, relentless, and unconsolable. However, I let it get to me. I am prone to depression and when I hear him, I lose motivation and begin to crave unhealthy food. My only consolation is that I have kept junk out of the house, so I dont' think I've done that much damage.
Lesson learned: I do depend on milk in the morning. I've run out of it and have not bothered to get it. I find myself either skimping on breakfast or not eating at all.
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