Tachatna's Journal

Tachatna's Profile |Send a Message | Weight History

showing entries 11 to 15 of 46

Page: Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... Next

24 February 2018

When is the last time you did something different to make yourself feel pampered (that doesn't have to do with food or diet)?

Three years ago, I flew back to Oregon to visit my daughter, granddaughter and hubby. While I was there I visited every Dollar Store and Thrift Shop I could find as we don't have any in Alaska!!! It sucks. Also, while I was there, I got together with 4 ladies I went to school with (2 from gradeschool on!). It was fun to reconnect with them and hear where their lives had taken them in the nearly 50 years since we graduated from high school! Yes! It will be fifty years this June. I'm old! :P

Since we got together in Oregon, we have kept an on-going daily conversation going. We check in every day and talk about our lives and the things we are facing. It has been a wonderful addition to my life to have those ladies to talk to, to get advice from, to joke around with and to share their lives with me.

One of the ladies I reconnected with was born with only one kidney. She is prone to kidney stones that require surgery (dangerous for her). She has had to make drastic dietary changes to avoid oxylates in food and drinks (like tea).

She is diabetic. She has had to make serious dietary changes to control her blood sugar even on meds.

She has difficulty walking as her knees are bone to bone and very painful. She now uses two canes and utilizes a wheelchair when she is out and about.

You would think that someone with all of those challenges would go through periods of being down or periods of not being positive. She is TOTALLY not that way! There is not a day that passes where she doesn't have a positive outlook on life. She posts the most uplifting things on Facebook from lovely photos of flowers and landscapes, the ocean. She posts ideas for the home, wardrobe, cooking. She posts wise sayings or witty cartoons. She just brightens a day seeing what catches her eye!

Through our talks over the last couple of years, she has called herself "high maintenance". She and her hubby always have fresh flowers in their home. She makes a trip to every week to either the nail salon for a mani/pedi or the hair salon for a bangs trim. Once a month she goes out to lunch with former friends from work. She has friends over every now and then for tea. Every spring she plants many, many flower pots, hanging pots, flower beds.

I've come to admire the things she takes time to do for herself to make her life brighter!

It doesn't take much to pamper yourself, you know.

When is the last time you took a long bubble bath rather than a rushed shower?

When is the last time you pampered your feet with a good soak? or painted toes? or massaged lotion or cream on them?

When is the last time you treated yourself to a day with a good book? or a movie? or had a friend over to just chat...maybe over tea?

You see, sometimes we are so wrapped up in the things we HAVE to do...whether work/home responsibilities, appointments, errands that we don't take time for the little things that make us feel special and relaxed.

Jan went shopping today. I took the time to take a long leisurely bath with all the trimmings. It felt great!

We are all multi-layered people and need to nuture all of those layers. Is that high maintenance? Nope...I think it is simply taking care of ALL the parts of us that we are comprised of.

I hope you are having a great weekend! Pamper yourself somewhere along the line.

(1 comment)

23 February 2018

I reached my first goal this morning and it was a total surprise! I can finally claim weighing less than 240! Granted, it's only a half pound under, but HURRAY!!

I read through postings this morning and was really touched by one sweet member talking about her fears for the future. I was so touched because practically my entire life has been spent dealing with fears. I call them the "what if's".

What if....I have a panic attack in a classroom and make a fool of myself having to leave? It resulted in my not finishing my college degree and dropping out of school.

What if....my heart starts racing while I am behind the wheel of the car and I get lightheaded or pass out? It resulted in literally years of either not leaving the house or planning my routes of travel so I would always be within minutes of a fire station, hospital or emergency clinic.

What if.... my colitis acts up and I can't find a bathroom? Again, years of not leaving the house or panicking ever time time I was on a freeway (with miles between exits) until I finally refused to travel on a freeway at all.

What if....I don't live long enough to see my daughter graduate from school and grow up? I lived struggling against that and not participating in life with her happily.

What if....I hadn't swerved in time to avoid hitting that cat?

What if....people really see how frightened I am?

My entire life was based on the "what if's" and I missed out on so very much!

I know where it came from. It came from living with a mother who couldn't look at positive things.

If I got an "B" in school, her comments would be "what if you had worked harder? You would have had an "A"."

I learned to think of all the BAD things that MIGHT happen rather than rejoicing in the wonders that came my way. I even got to the point that successes weren't acceptable and I could only imagine "what if" I had done this, or that.

"What if's" were crippling in my life. I would recognize them, regret them and move on. They always came back.

I often tell my husband that I would never wish to be young again unless I could go back to that age KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW!! How different growing up and living my life would be on a do-over!

In my life today, I spend each day reminding myself of 10 things I am grateful for....

My husband
My skills
My computer
My puppy
My daughter and granddaughter's happiness
Living in Alaska
Being able to see blue skies

.... the list goes on.

I take time several times a day to thank God for even the smallest of things. I pull the car into the driveway and thank Him for helping me get to the store. It's a celebration of the little things in life rather than wandering into the "what if's".

I add to my list of things I am grateful for....fatscret and it's wonderful members.

It is difficult to "unlearn" old ways of doing things, but it is possible. The rest of my life will be focused on living free of the "what if's"!!

(4 comments)

22 February 2018

How do you measure success on this journey we are on when the scale doesn't move very quickly?

I've asked myself that (most likely every single day!) as I'm certain most of you have at one time or another. It's difficult to maintain a positive outlook when the silly scale doesn't go down each day. There are ways to manage that without having to see the scale drop.

So, I got up this morning expecting to see even a tiny movement downwards on the scale. NOPE.

I felt a flood of discouragement starting and then I sorted through some truths:

I got up in yesterday morning and coaxed myself into eating two eggs. I am NOT a morning person!!! I certainly am NOT a breakfast person. Eating those eggs was a success for me.

I wrote in my journal reminding myself about the true value of words and supporting others. That was a motivational success to myself.

I coaxed myself into eating some chicken for lunch. Again, I'm not a regular eater by nature, so that was a success for me.

I didn't lie down for a nap (even after not getting to sleep until 3 a.m.) and that was a success for me. I mean, you use more calories being up than sleeping, right? :D

I made a great chef salad for dinner and wasn't hungry before I went to bed. Now, THAT was a success to me.

I managed to eat 1100 calories yesterday...healthy calories! That was a success to me.

I am off two kinds of diabetic meds. That is a success to me.

I lost 6 pounds last month. THAT is a success to me.

I moved outside myself to pay attention to other members journeys here and found motivation, attempted to give encouragement. That was a success to me.

When I was finished chalking up the successes, I was encouraged rather than discouraged!

I built a dam with my successes to hold back the flood of discouragement I was beginning to feel and VOILA....today WILL be a good day because I am on a journey to wellness that isn't a day to day thing...IT IS A LIFETIME PLAN I CAN DO!!

(9 comments)

21 February 2018

The internet has changed so many of our lives and opened our worlds to be in touch with people we would not ordinarily meet. Some of you aren't old enough to have been around when it all came to be an interactive community. I'm old as dirt, so I do remember when personal computers became affordable to the "average" person.

My first experience with internet communities was with AOL...version 1.1 if that tells you anything about my age! We connected with a MODEM and we were charged for long distance to connect there! It was quite a different experience than it is today.

In those days, there were chat rooms you could enter on different topics or connect with different age groups. There were children's rooms. There were Over forty rooms. There were Over 30 rooms. There were Christian rooms. There were rooms you could wander into to chat about any subject dynamic you were interested in. There were Guides to answer questions and eject disruptive or mean people. It was quite an experience.

I wandered into a room one day and watched the conversation. Someone made a comment I was curious about and then disappeared. I looked for them again to ask them a question, but wasn't ever able to find them. I decided to send them an email. A few days passed before I got an answer to the email. I had formed a vision of the person I had contacted with my question. When the email arrived, the person was nowhere close to the one I imagined. The person was male, not female to name just one thing I was wrong about. We started corresponding.

The person I met lived in Minnesota. I lived in Oregon. We talked about a lot of things in our emails. We instant messaged quite a lot. The person was extremely intelligent, considerate, easy going with a great sense of humor. The person was interested in what I thought and who I was. It did not take long before I realized this very special person was someone I wanted to know more.

The internet has expanded since then. The world has gotten smaller. We get news instantly. We connect with people on Facebook (for instance) who we haven't seen or talked to for years. We play games. We read books. We speak face to face through Skype and other programs. And, we have places to find people to connect with that face some of the same challenges that we have. Fatsecret is one of those places.

The internet is a challenge. The person you are talking to doesn't necessarily fit the picture you have in your mind.

They may face the same challenge, but it does not mean they are in the same place in life that you are.

Their backgrounds are varied and words may not mean the same thing to them that they do to you.

Their motivations and goals, hopes and fears, obstacles and successes may be quite different as well.

I have seen several instances of members becoming upset, of feeling hurt, of feeling discouraged by something someone has typed. The internet connections we make and the words we see are only a PORTION of who the person on the other end is!!! They have made themselves vulnerable to strangers by coming here. They have opened up parts of themselves that they may not share with others in real life. It behooves us all to tread carefully and be respectful as the internet allows us to visit someone else's life.

Every journey starts with a single step. It is possible they are not as far along the path to wellness as you are. They will find their way with support and caring, with celebration of their successes. They will find it as they feel safe enough to reach out and ask. Tread lightly on their fragile journey. Negativity can feel like a mortal wound.

Words can build someone up. Words can tear someone down. Words can cut like a knife and cause a soul to bleed rather than skin. Remember always....

THERE IS A PERSON ON THE RECEIVING END OF THE WORDS THAT ARE TYPED.

You have probably guessed that the person I met on AOL was my hubby Jan. You are right. It certainly was not something either of us anticipated! It was LONG before there were places like EHarmony, etc. It wasn't even something we were looking for and it all started with WORDS ON A SCREEN 23 years ago this summer.

(13 comments)

20 February 2018

My life style changes seem to hinge on my thought process and putting them in my journal really helps me. My apologies if it gets boring to you all!

I'm not certain when I came to the conclusion that I would always be ill. It probably started in my childhood.

At three years old, the doctors diagnosed me as having leukemia. As it turned out, it was a very severe case of mono. But, at the same time, my cousin (my age) died of leukemia. I remember being frightened.

Between the ages of 6 and 18, I suffered from chronic bronchitis. I missed weeks of school each year, developed pneumonia several times and came to the realization that I "wasn't like other kids". My mother did a good job of convincing me of that. "You can't go swimming today! You'll get sick!" was her mantra all those years. I came to believe it. Or, at least I came to accept her view that I wasn't like other people and couldn't do the same things they could. It was a lonely place to be. Life felt like I was just walking through the motions badly.

Depression, anxiety and panic were normal for me from the age of 13. There weren't meds to control it then...only tranquilizers to mask the symptoms. My mother started feeding me Librium any time there was stress in my life. I still remember the green and black pills she handed out so freely. Learning to take meds to "feel normal" became an accepted practice in my life.

Pills for anxiety. Antibiotics for infections. Codeine for cramps...the list goes on.

I was different from other people, I believed. I didn't have the right makeup to get through life without pills. They were my security blanket and I never developed any true sense of worth or self-esteem because I thought life required artificial help to make it through. It seemed everyone else lived life so effortlessly. I didn't understand why I struggled so hard and concluded it was "meant to be". I wasn't "normal" (whatever that was).

I looked at other kids and didn't feel I was the same. The need to belong, the need to be normal, the need to be needed, feeling always on the outside looking in....those were my truths for more years than I care to look at. It wasn't until I married Jan that I realized I MATTERED!

Gradually, with his support and love, I started to grow as an individual. I did matter. I started to believe that there were things about me that were good things...empathy, humor, intellect, interests, skills (everything from plumbing to sewing/crochet/crafts). I began to accept the things about me as things that were good and not things I should be ashamed of.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not making excuses for the way I felt. This journey to wellness isn't just about the physical. It is also about the insights we develop along the way within ourselves.

My willingness to accept the "artificial answers" in meds continues to be a challenge. High blood pressure..pills. High cholesterol...pill. High triglycerides...pill. Breathing problems...inhalers. The types of meds I took changed over time as different things popped up. I kept hold of the things I had come to accept about myself as being good.

NOWHERE in there did I come to the conclusion that I deserved to be healthy though!

I just accepted being ill with one thing or another was my norm just as my acceptance of being overweight became my norm. The older I got, the less incentive I seemed to have to do what I needed to do to be healthy. If they put weight loss in pill form, I would be skinny! lol

I finally came to the conclusion I deserved to be healthy, but I didn't come to it by myself. I came to that conclusion by watching Jan tackle his health problems by changing...changing the way he ate; changing the way he thought; being willing to actually WORK at being healthy. It was only then that I finally realized "I deserve to be healthy!".

He's been a great inspiration and example for me that allowed me to find that truth within myself. He never preached. He never forced me to look at myself. He never even suggested I do something other than what I was doing. He just led by example until I embraced the truths he had found for myself.

Now, that is a soul mate!

Self-esteem is a complicated thing. Too often we settle for what we believe other people think of us. Too often we settle for the old COMFORTABLE feelings (even if they weren't the accurate ones...they were comfortable). Too often we put our own well-being second to what we perceive is important for the people we love. That changes the day you look inside and say, "I am a good person and I deserve to take care of myself the same way I would take care of someone I love".

CHANGE IS DIFFICULT! Whether it is a change in old thought patterns or a change in behavior or a change that we have to adapt to that the world brings our way.

Taking care of yourself is the one difficult change for me!

I admire each of you here who are doing just that...taking care of yourself. You are inspirations.

(12 comments)

Tachatna's weight history

view complete history

Tachatna's Journal

24 February 2018

23 February 2018

22 February 2018

21 February 2018

20 February 2018

Other Related Links

Members

Tachatna's weight history